Feud 1×4
& Bette Davis:
«Mother of three, 30 years experience in motion pictures, wants steady employment in Hollywood. References upon request.»
& Robert Aldrich: You know who goes to the movies nowadays? Kids and teenagers. I mean, nobody under the age of 35 even knows who these women are.
& Pauline:
It’s called The Black Slipper. It’s written just for Joan...
& Pauline: You think I’m crazy?
Mamacita: I think this is
a marvelous idea.
Pauline: You do?
Mamacita:
This is America. No one can tell you you’re crazy. In Werdohl, you know how you must live when you are born. Born to a shoemaker, you must make shoes. Born a girl, you must be a mother. Here, you decide. There is opportunity to become anything you want. I will make your case with Miss Joan.
& Joan Crawford: Win, lose or draw, I’ll always show up on time, hit my mark and promote the product, whether it’s Pepsi-Cola or a new motion picture.
& Joan Crawford: Jackals. It’s just like 1937 all over again.
Mamacita: When Hitler took Austria.
Joan Crawford: No, when they labeled me box office poison.
& Joan Crawford: Who is Pauline?
& Joan Crawford: A woman director. Well, it really is over.
& Joan Crawford: Well, it’s time to face the music, Mamacita.
& Hedda Hopper: She has the critics, so what? You have the audience.
& Hedda Hopper: She’ll get a nomination, but so will you... They wouldn’t dare nominate her and not you. Yes, all right, she plays a lunatic, but you play a cripple!
& Jack Warner:
Baby Jane is the number one picture in America.
Robert Aldrich: Well, actually, it’s more like number eight so far this year...
Jack Warner: No. For what we spent on it, it’s number one.
& Robert Aldrich: It was one movie. Which nearly killed me being locked up with those two dames. I want to do something a lot less dangerous, you know? Like a, uh, like a war picture or a Western.
Jack Warner: No. Let’s leave the war pictures and the Westerns to John Ford, okay?
& Jack Warner: You know, you’re the wop working in the fucking tile factory. We need tiles!
Robert Aldrich: Yeah, well, even the schmuck in the tile factory has dreams, Jack.
Jack Warner: Dreams are delusions. And right now, you’re delusional.
& Pauline: I know that it’s unorthodox, the idea of a woman director, but it’s not unprecedented. Think of the women who ruled the silent era...
Joan Crawford: Where are they now?
& Joan Crawford: What do you guess prevented the next great wave of women directors?
Pauline: I don’t know.
Joan Crawford: Well, I do. I was there. Money. Money came along. Silents were low-cost, low-risk. A producer might shrug at the idea of an ingénue or girl editor taking a turn behind the camera, but when the studios came to power, they moved women to the feminine work. Costumes, continuity... Directors needed stamina, leadership, fiscal responsibility, so men were given the bullhorn. And I can’t say that we are any worse off for it.
& Joan Crawford: I’m not turning you down because you’re a woman. I’m turning you down because you’re a nobody. And at this late stage of my career, I don’t have the luxury of putting myself in the hands of a nobody. I have very few chances left. And my last chance is not going to be your first.
& Olivia de Havilland: I think the biggest moneymaker that year was Lawrence of Arabia.
Joan Blondell: I don’t think there was even a girl camel in that one.
Olivia de Havilland: So with two women stars of our era to suddenly have the most successful picture in the theaters among young people, well, we thought it signaled a sea change.
Joan Blondell: We had thought we’d all start working again. That there’d be a flood of women’s pictures.
Olivia de Havilland: It didn’t turn out that way.
Joan Blondell: Sure as hell didn’t. The studios thought it was a fluke. They always think it’s a fluke when a picture carried by the girls succeeds at the box office.
Olivia de Havilland: And they so often do.
& Joan Blondell: Oh, I’m not saying it, honey. Joan herself said it. Quote, «The twin curses of being a star are alcoholism and loneliness.» End quote.
& Joan Blondell: Oh, it’s a constant high. And then, when you don’t have a job, a success, or someone else is riding high... it gets very, very quiet. You can hear the voices of doubt. Pick up a bottle, and suddenly the party starts all over again. Pain goes away...
& Bette Davis: ...And I’m still not getting any offers.
Robert Aldrich: What are you talking about? You’re doing Perry Mason.
Bette Davis: It’s television!
Robert Aldrich: There’s no shame in doing television!
Bette Davis: Says the man who just signed Sinatra and Dean Martin to a multi-million-dollar Western romp.
& Bette Davis: If the offers aren’t coming in now...
Robert Aldrich: Yeah, but they will come in. And if they don’t, I promise you, I will personally write you another big fat fucking hit.
Bette Davis: Yeah. That’s what Mankiewicz said, too, right after I lost for All About Eve. I’m still waiting.
& Robert Aldrich: Zack Thomas is intent on recouping his $100,000 from Joe Jarrett. That is the picture. Now, if every time we see Zack, he’s getting a foot rub, how’s the audience gonna understand his ambition?
Frank Sinatra: People know what I want, and they know I don’t sweat getting it. Match me.
& Assistant: «You don’t leave me much choice.»
Frank Sinatra: I know the line, you stupid bitch!
Robert Aldrich: All right, all right, that’s out of bounds.
Frank Sinatra: Out of bounds?! Who the fuck do you think you are, out of bounds?! You’re nobody. I ought to have you decapitated and buried in the fucking desert, you sweaty, four-eyed ape. They won’t even mark your grave with an «X.» And no one’ll notice you’re gone!
& Robert Aldrich: What’s this?
Jack Warner: That’s a gift for my good friend Bob. Fresh, un-mutilated properties. Further tales of old hags.
Robert Aldrich: No, no, no—
Jack Warner: Now, listen. Pick one, bring it to Bette. As a bonus... I will release your dog-shit Sinatra Western. Who else would do that for you?
& Jack Warner: All right, come on. Run along, now. I got writing to do. I’m working on my autobiography. What do you think I should call it? I’m thinking of Life of a Showman.
& Jack Warner: Oh, also, good luck on Monday. I mean, in general, for Baby Jane. It’s sure to pick up a few nods, but I want you to be prepared for the possibility that you’ll be left out. But don’t take it personally. You’re just not the type that your peer group acknowledges.
& Robert Aldrich: Can I ask you something, Jack?
Jack Warner: Yes, of course.
Robert Aldrich: Be straight with me.
Jack Warner: Never any other way, Bob.
Robert Aldrich: Do you think I have the potential for greatness?
& Robert Aldrich: I’m not a miracle worker. No one is gonna let a woman direct a picture. You’re in fantasyland.
& Mamacita: .... Census projections. By 1970, there will be six million more women than men. 52% of total population. Do you know what this means?
Pauline: A lot of lonely gals.
Mamacita: Studios will have obligations to make half of stories about women, by women, for women. It only makes economic sense. Keep your head up.
& Mamacita: Miss Joan. I want you to sit down.
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