Не порно, но задорно

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

*  Zack(hary): Can I get two beers, please? You want a beer?
    Miri(yam): Yeah.
    Z: Three beers.

*  Z: Miriam Linky, will you have sex with me on camera for money?
    M: I will.

*  M: So I guess we should do this.
    Z: I think we should probably wait... Just until I lose another 20-30 pounds.
    M: Stop it. You look good.
    Z: Thanks.
    M: So, what about me? How do I look?
    Z: I mean, you look beautiful. You always look so beautiful so... I guess it's not a big deal. But you look amazing.

---

*  Z: Hello Miriam.
    M: Beat it, we're talking.
    Z: I just wanted to introduce you to Brandon. ... Bobby's boyfriend.
    M: Bobby who?
    Z: Bobby me. ... Bobby Long. ... Brandon is the star of such adult fair... What was that one called again?
    Brandon: "You'd better shut your mouth or I'm gonna fuck it".
    Z: That's right. I'm surprised I forgot that.
    M: Are you fucking with me?
    Z: No, they are fucking with each other.

*  Z: That guy, Brandon St. Randy, who's Bobby Long's awesome nice boyfriend... He said he makes a hundred grand a year, because he shoots and distributes his own porno films.
    M: If it's so easy, how come everybody doesn't do it?
    Z: Because other people have options and dignity. Which we do not have.

*  Z: Yeah, you're hired. Mr.. Who are you again?
    — Lester, Lester the Molester Cocking Stuff.
    M: Wow, that is the best porn name I've ever heard, man.
    Lester: I can have a porn name?.. Then I'll be Pete Jones.

*  Delaney, "producer": Hi, My name is Delaney and I'm a producer, if you know what I mean. Let's be honest, my first time. You don't have to worry...
    I'm gonna touch you, nothing like that.
    — Alright.
    D: I have a wife, we're happy... We're not happy but it's cool...
    Just so you know, there will be some fucking but uh... We'll talk about that if you get the part.
    — Okay.
    D: I mean, not we won't be fucking.
    There will be fucking in the movie.
    Like I said I got a wife and she don't play that shit. She's crazy bitch.
    — Yup.
    D: It's my job as the producer to see what you got.
    So.. To make sure you're comfortable in any way.
    You don't have to show me anything you don't wanna show me, cause..

*  M: Let us fuck!
    Z: Let me see them, titties... Actually, you know what, sorry I don't think we should show 'em.
    M: What?
    Z: We shouldn't show your breasts.
    M: Are you gonna take your shirt off?
    Z: I ain't take my shirt off. I'm just gonna open it actually.
    M: You're not gonna take it off? Why not?
    Z: My tits are bigger than yours for fuck sake. It'd look weird. I don't wanna show that.
    — She's not gonna show her tits?

*  Z: I'm gonna fuck you with my pecker.
    M: Dude, that's really dirty.
    Z: That's too dirty?
    M: Yeah, it offends me.
    Z: I'm gonna fuck you with my penis.
    M: I can't wait.

*  M: We'll start kissing on three, okay?.. 1, 2, 3. Go. ......
    — Deacon.
    — What?
    — Did you see Lost this week? I missed it. What happened?
    — Oh dude. They're on the island, they off the island. Who can follow that shit.

*  M: What's wrong with the movie?
    D: The story doesn't make sense.
    M: The story?.. It's a fucking porno movie, man. What story?
    D: It's a movie, dog. And a movie's gotta have an ending. Which we don't have at the moment.

*  D: You see, there was the time when I was just a bitter old fuck making coffees. And Stacey was just a lap dancer. And Barry and Bubbles didn't know each other. And this fool here, hell, I don't even know what he was! Then two people come along. And showed us something, we didn't know existed. A world of possibilities. Where plain old people, just like us can do something special. Even if it's someone filming people fucking.
    Sometimes... We just need someone to show us something we can't see for ourselves. And it will change for ever.

*  Z: And I know, I know that's only because of all the stupid shit we said about how we wouldn't let sex change us, but it did. It changed me. That has to be love, right? It has to be love, and... Just so you know, I can't go back being just friends anymore because... I just can't. And I think you feel the same way. Because that night after I left, you didn't fuck Lester...
    Lester: What's up, Zack?
    Z: ... You know what? I do not care that you're fucking Lester, okay?

*  Z: I'm getting tired of fucking the flash light.
    M: You fucked it?
    Z: Yeah.
    M: How did it feel like?
    Z: Feels like fucking a flash light.



+ Хороший фильм. Сабж, в общем.

++ Elizabeth Banks.

Imdb: 7.5/10 (~19,000 голосов по состоянию на 9/1/09).