House M.D. 1x17

Role Model

Season 1, Episode 17

* House: Trust me. You're not gonna be president either way. They don't call it the White House because of the paint job.

* Senator Gary H. Wright: And you're clever, you're witty and you are a coward. You're scared of taking chances.
   House: I take chances all the time. It's one of my worst qualities.
   Senator: On people?
   House: Wanting to believe the best about people doesn't make it true.
   Senator: Being afraid to believe it doesn't make it false.

* Senator Gary H. Wright: He's right. I, uh... I won't win.
   — Then why run?
   Senator: Oh, I see. Your point being, the only way to make a difference is to win every fight.

---

* Vogler (Big Boss): ... But, hey, why listen to me? I own the company. I'm certainly not to be trusted, right? Dr. Greg House, on the other hand, has a reputation... for integrity, among other things. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Greg House.
   House (reads from brochure): Eastbrook Pharmaceuticals' extraordinary commitment to research excellence... is exemplified by their new ACE inhibitor, a breakthrough medical approach that will protect millions from heart disease.
   Vogler (whispers): That's not a speech.
   House: I thought it was pithy. You got enough for a press release anyhow.
   Vogler: Foreman or Cameron.
   House (returns to pulpit): A few things I forgot to mention. Ed Vogler is a brilliant businessman, a brilliant judge of people... and a man who has never lost a fight. You know how I know that the new ACE inhibitor is good? 'Cause the old one was good. The new one is really the same, just more expensive. A lot more expensive. You see, that's another example of Ed's brilliance. Whenever one of his drugs is about to lose its patent, he has his boys and girls alter it just a tiny bit, patent it all over again, making not just a pointless new pill, but millions and millions of dollars. Which is good for everybody, right? Except the patients. But... who cares? They're just so damn sick. God obviously never liked them anyway. All the healthy people in the room, let's have a big round of applause for Ed Vogler.

* Cameron: Dr. House, I just wanted...
   House: You're welcome again.
   Cameron: I want you to know how much...
   House: Got it. You're grateful. Apparently you seem to think it will mean a lot to me to know that.
   Cameron: Do you know why people pray to God?
   House: I thought you didn't believe in God.
   Cameron: I don't. Do you think they pray to him and praise him because they want him to know how great he is? God already knows that.
   House: Are you comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree.
   Cameron: I thank you because it means something to me... to be grateful for what I receive.
   House: You are the most naive atheist I've ever met. {...} People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs. I'm not gonna crush you.

* Patient: "Petechial" bruising? I don't know if I pronounced that right.
   House: Gosh, the Internet is such a wonderful tool.
   Patient: It could be leukemia. Definitely possible.
   House: The more likely diagnosis is hickey.
   Patient: Well, it can't be a hickey. {...} I'm not having sex. I've barely even thought about sex since my marriage. Ow!
   House: I say you're having sex, you say you're not. Either you're lying or I'm wrong. Or there's some middle ground.
   Patient: You mean, like, oral?

* House: You know, when the Inuit go fishing, they don't look for fish.
{ 10 sec pause }
   Wilson: Why, Dr. House?
   House: They look for the blue heron because there's no way to see the fish. But if there's fish, there's gonna be birds fishing.


-- Словарик:
Petechial — сыпной (?) (petechial fever = сыпной тиф)
bruise — ушиб; синяк, кровоподтёк
hickey — краснота или синяк от поцелуя, засос
witty — остроумный
coward — трус
heron — цапля
integrity — честность, прямота; целостность, нетронутость, чистота
pithy — сжатый (о стиле); немногословный, лаконичный

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