The Future Perfect

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Death Valley

10×10

Richard Nixon: We need to stop this goddamn war!
Valiant Thor: The war is performing a very important function.
Richard Nixon: It's destroying my presidency.
Henry Kissinger: I have to agree, Mr. Thor. I can't see what we're accomplishing.
Valiant Thor: When you were little and you needed to get a needle, sometimes the doctor would distract you. He would show you a toy and then while you were playing with it, he'd jab you. If people are focused on the war, they won't be thinking about all of the Americans going missing.

Valiant Thor: We all understood that the creation of an alien-human hybrid was a complex task requiring generations of experimentation.
Henry Kissinger: How much more time do you need?
Valiant Thor: We are projecting that the first functioning hybrid will be born in approximately... 2021.

Henry Kissinger: Mr. Thor, the Vietnam War will never last 50 years.
Valiant Thor: Of course it won't. Which is why we have a full menu of distractions prepared.
Richard Nixon: You think I'm gonna sacrifice my entire career for one of your little distractions?
Valiant Thor: Just consider this... Distractions can come in many forms.

Mamie Eisenhower: Thanks to me, Americans are celebrating birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and I am not going to stop there. I am going to bring back a holiday that everyone has forgotten.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Huh. "Happy Ed".
Mamie Eisenhower: No, silly, Evacuation Day. Even you don't remember it. It's the day the British evacuated Boston, and they still celebrate it in Massachusetts. When I'm done with it, it'll be nationwide, Oh, I can see it. Evacuation Day parades across the country. It'll be like the Fourth of July.

Richard Nixon: You see, they wanted me in the White House, and now I know why. Not just because I was gonna play ball. No, no, that's not it. You see... I was to be the ringleader of the circus when the tent caught fire.

Richard Nixon: Now, this Valiant Thor, he has an office at Watergate and I... I want it bugged. I wanna hear everything that they've got planned. Every line on the goddamn calendar. Comprende?
Gordon Liddy: I won't let you down, sir.
Richard Nixon: You'll be the first.

Mamie Eisenhower: I know everything. But before I say anything, we're agreed you're never to mention my name? To you, I'm just... Deep Throat. .....
Valiant Thor: Deep throat? You're joking.
Mamie Eisenhower: Not at all. It's from that filthy movie. I figured it's the last name anyone would ever believe I'd take.
Mamie Eisenhower: I've had a good run. I've accomplished more than anyone could ever dream. I got the world to appreciate the color pink. I freed Americans to celebrate their birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and if there's still work to be done on Evacuation Day, I can take up that fight for another year or so. I'd like a quiet death. And then, as you promised... I want to live forever.

Mamie Eisenhower: Tell me, do you like fudge?

Jamie Howard: You were right, Kendall. I can't believe we traded the best parts of being human... our freedom, curiosity, our need to explore... all for microchip technology and the ability to send memes around the world.

Theta: It takes some getting used to. It's best not to think of it as a person and more as...
Mamie Eisenhower: Livestock.
Theta: I was going to say a machine. Wonderful piece of technology that's going to save the world.
Mamie Eisenhower: Humans are not machines. We are not technology to be used against our will! Who runs your world now, Mamie? The people or the machines?...

Mamie Eisenhower: What if we fought back?
Calico: Look, I am no mathematician, but I do know a little something about gambling. And you plus me versus them? That would be like a pair of deuces versus a royal flush and the royal flush has an army with guns.

Mamie Eisenhower: It's what needs to be done.
Calico: It's just a baby.
Mamie Eisenhower: Would you take the chance to kill Hitler if he were just a baby? Stalin? An immoral act becomes moral when it's done in the service of all humanity. This is what's right.

Calico: Why do you get to decide what's right?
Mamie Eisenhower: Because I'm Mamie goddamn Eisenhower!

Theta: My humanity is my greatest shame. I will not help those who have destroyed this planet and its natural resources. Humans are hypocrites. Even if we wanted to live side by side with you, we couldn't. Because you're too selfish to share. You won't even open your doors to your own kind in their moment of need. Why would we think you would welcome us? It's our turn now. Our people will restore balance. Create a new world.

Calico: She's right. About people. I have seen them at their worst, and I've need them at their best. And I think maybe it's time we step aside and give someone else a chance.

Theta: Oh. Another perfect specimen.

--
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Blue Moon

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Death Valley

10×9

Valiant Thor: Let's begin the mission at hand. We promised you technology, and today we start to make good on that promise.
Richard Nixon: What in the hell is that?
Valiant Thor: This is the future... Go ahead. Touch it. It won't bite....
Richard Nixon: It's a goddamn television.
Valiant Thor: Much better than that.

Valiant Thor: It's a computing device you can hold in the palm of your hand. More powerful than the IBM 7090 now taking up an entire room at the Pentagon.
Richard Nixon: Well, that is impossible.
Valiant Thor: One day, these devices will connect your world and usher in an age of peace and harmony among mankind. This is what the future holds, gentlemen. Do you want it or not?

Mamie Eisenhower: ... And thanks to me, adults all across the country are celebrating their birthdays with parties. They're not just for kiddos anymore, Mr. Man. And now they're going to celebrate Halloween. I want grown-ups to join in the fun, dress up, that sort of thing. Make Halloween less juvenile... My legacy will surpass Eleanor Roosevelt's, that old basset hound. They all love her, not me. Well, that's about to change forever.

Mamie Eisenhower: Nevada. Didn't Twining want a place to test planes? So give them that. Or give them all of Nevada. Do you remember during the campaign when we had to stop in that godforsaken state? It was so beastly hot and dry there, I nearly fainted from the temperature...

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: This executive order hereby withdraws 38,000 acres located 80 miles north of Las Vegas from public use. The land will be set aside... for the construction of a top secret biological testing and information exchange facility. Its current AEC designation... is Area 51.

Mamie Eisenhower: No, it wasn't a nightmare. It was an absolute dream.

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: She's an actress, Dick. She takes pills and she drinks too much. No one's taking her seriously.
Richard Nixon: Sir, all it takes is one reporter asking questions and we are six ways to Sunday without a paddle. And my dreams of running for president again? Well, that dream dies.

Richard Nixon: Are we still not on speaking terms, sir?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: If we were, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself.

Valiant Thor: Ah, I like your sense of humor, sir. You might need it. Please, this way. Are you ready to learn how the world works, Mr. President?
Lyndon Johnson: Pretty good idea how the world works, sonny.
Valiant Thor: Of course you do...
Lyndon Johnson: As I live and shit.

Theta: To be human is to not understand. The optimum condition for your race is to surrender to that innocence.

Kendall Carr: Why are we standing on a set of the moon landing?
Calico: Isn't it obvious? They faked it. Here, 50 years ago. Right around the time they abducted me.

Kendall Carr: Wait, seriously? Stanley Kubrick? Why would he direct a fake moon landing?
Calico: Dicky Nixon was gaga for "Strangelove". It was his favorite movie. And some say, afterwards, Kubrick was given a lifetime contract at Warner Bros. with no constrictions.

--
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Inside

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Death Valley

10×8

Richard Nixon: Sir, Kennedy cannot be trusted.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You're just sore because he whooped you in the election.
Richard Nixon: Ha. He didn't whoop me. He stole it. Son of a bitch Daley handed it to him.

Richard Nixon: You once told me your motto was, "Never make mistakes in a hurry"...

Jack Kennedy: Dick, how's New York treating you?
Richard Nixon: Oh, just peachy. I think I actually spotted an American citizen the other day.

Jack Kennedy: Okay. So what's the mystery? Is someone in my cabinet a Russian spy?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: I wish it were only that...

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: 5,000 people a year. It's a small number whose sacrifice ensures the safety of 190 million Americans.
Richard Nixon: And with the technology that we are getting in exchange we will dominate the world!

Richard Nixon: Well, I was right. That Ivy League bastard... he's gonna do it. .... I just got word that, uh, Kennedy is convening a secret study group. You wanna guess what they're studying?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Oh, God almighty.
Richard Nixon: That's right. Little Lord Fauntleroy's just dying to tell the American people what's going on. Now, we can't just let this happen.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Do we know who's in the study group?
Richard Nixon: Ike, you can bet your ass there's at least one goddamn Jew and one Harvard fuck. And they're gonna go to the media. They always do. And then we're... we're screwed royal.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Have you been drinking, Dick?
Richard Nixon: No, I am drinking. And I've never had a better reason.

Richard Nixon: Now we have to start thinking about containment. We need to be prepared for anything, sir.

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You need to call Jackie.
Mamie Eisenhower: Oh, call Jackie?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: To express your condolences.
Mamie Eisenhower: I will do no such thing. The work I did in the White House, and all I got was scorn. "The Pink Palace" the press called it, as if there's something wrong with blush tones.

Mamie Eisenhower: Now, don't you tell yourself you've done anything wrong. Everything you do is for the good of the country. This is patriotism at its finest. And I'm proud of you. You should be proud.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You be proud for the both of us.

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You've all been briefed as to what's going on, so let's get the first question out of the way. Yes, it's true. Every damn word of it.

Mamie Eisenhower: Can you believe "The New York Times" says adults across the country are starting to celebrate birthdays? And all because of me and the ones I throw for myself. Birthday parties are not just for children anymore. You're not the only one who's leaving behind a legacy.

Mamie Eisenhower: I need you to convince Ike to do the right thing.
Richard Nixon: Why would he listen to me? Ike doesn't even like me.
Mamie Eisenhower: That's true. He doesn't exactly hold you in the highest of esteem. Who does?

Troy Lord: Breathing exercises. That's what pregnant women do, right?
Jamie Howard: Yes, when they're about to go in labor. We're about nine months early.
Troy Lord: I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to read my copy of "What to Expect When You're Not Supposed to be Expecting Because You're a Fucking Dude"!

Kendall Carr: You guys, there's always a logical explanation for things. Whenever some unexplainable phenomenon happens, everyone screams "aliens" or "ghosts", but it's never any of those things.

Jamie Howard: This pregnancy sort of came out of the blue.

Dr. Reyes: So... Is one of you the father?
Cal Cambon: Yes.
Troy Lord: Yes.
Dr. Reyes: And you?
Kendall Carr: Are not.

Troy Lord: Wait, wait, wait, how is it gonna come out of me?

Kendall Carr: Where are we?
Theta: This is a safe space.

Theta: Embrace the gift that has been given to you. You've been chosen. This is an opportunity to save an entire planet.
Kendall Carr: Save Earth by populating it with four-armed freaks?
Theta: Who said anything about saving Earth?

Calico: Life must find its own way.

Calico: Ignorance is bliss, sweetheart. Sit down, trust me.

Theta: Don't focus on the pain. Focus on the future.
Troy Lord: Please. Just tell me what happens next.
Theta: .... Birth.

--
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Take Me to Your Leader

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Death Valley

10×7

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: No, it's just a little question I have. So why is it I can land 150,000 soldiers in Normandy... But I can't put one lousy ball in one lousy hole? I'd give anything for that answer.

Mamie Eisenhower: One year in office, and you still can't lie to save your life. I suppose I should be proud of you.

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: And those marks on your body, how did you get those?
Amelia Earhart: Needles.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Needles?
Amelia Earhart: Needles. I don't like needles. I don't trust them, but they insisted. They said that it was important, that it wouldn't hurt, but it did. Sometimes they took my blood; sometimes they... Put things inside me.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Who?... Amelia, who did this to you?
Amelia Earhart: Where am I?

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: My name is Dwight Eisenhower, and I'm the President of the United States.
Amelia Earhart: You're a liar. Franklin Roosevelt is president. What am I doing here?

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Whatever it is that you want, I'm sure we can come to an understanding. Reach an agreement. I have the power to do that. I'm the President of the United States. And this world, it's been trying to destroy itself for as long as I can remember, and we don't need any more help, so I'm asking you, stop the killing and just listen to me.
'Maria Wycoff': Mr. President, it is you who will listen to us.

Kendall Carr: Do you feel that? That tension that comes up inside when you think about putting your phones away? It's called "nomophobia", as in "no mobile phone phobia".

Kendall Carr: I joined the Luddite Club at Harvard. I'm cured of the curse of technology... I was taking a class called 50 Years of Technology, all about how the human race has had more technological advances in the last 50 years than in the previous 20,000 combined.

— To a Luddite summer!

Kendall Carr: Alien abductions.
Jamie Howard: Pfft.
Kendall Carr: Don't give me that look. When all reasonable explanations have been eliminated...
Jamie Howard: You decide it's aliens? Hmm? There has to be a rational explanation for this.

Jamie Howard: This is so dumb. Men can't get pregnant!

--
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Winter Kills

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Red Tide

10×6

Holden Vaughn: First of all, your name is Levy. I don't know where you get off owning not one but two Irish pubs. That's called cultural appropriation, sweetheart. Second of all, you have terrible taste. And not just in your footwear.

Austin Summers: These fucking Hollywood people have no decency!
Belle Noir: And no self-control. That beast of a man gave the pills to his child. It makes you think that maybe some of that QAnon business about them being satanic baby-killers is based in some fact.

Holden Vaughn: The council asked me to convey a message: "Get rid of the troublemakers, or all of you are suddenly gonna find yourself going into some very annoying zoning issues, including painting all of the curbs in front of your houses red and declaring all of your domiciles as historic landmarks which means that even to change a bulb will take a six-week approval process."

Holden Vaughn: You know, I stopped Burger King from opening in this town. I can stop you too...

Harry Gardner: So what do you think?
Ursula: Well... I think you should kill yourself. Because you will never write anything this good... no one will. No one has.

Harry Gardner: I don't want to have to kill anymore. I just want to raise you and enjoy the fruits of what we've accomplished this year and maybe over time get some of my soul back.
Ursula: Yeah, it doesn't work that way, bubbulah. Once you sell your soul, it's gone.
Harry Gardner: I don't want to believe that.
Ursula: Because you're framing it as a bad thing, but it is not. It's freedom. Why have a conscience or a moral code anymore? You're above all of that. This is what success feels like, Harry, It feels like superiority.

Alma Gardner: Insane Brainz Memory Boost...
Harry Gardner: It's supposed to be cutting edge.
Alma Gardner: I guess it's because "brains" is spelled with a Z instead of an S. I feel the boost already.

Alma Gardner: Chicken-shit little bitch.
Ursula: I am digging deep in my soul to find the small sliver of goodness that will allow me to overlook what you just said. Hear me out...

Ursula: Look, I know this sucks, okay? I know you got a raw deal. But you are not monsters. You're a bunch of Laurence Fishburnes. Fishburne turned down "Pulp Fiction" because his agent told him he'd be working with John Travolta... a has-been. Now, look, you all made a very bad call, but it is not the end of the story. Fishburne went on to beat out Sam Jackson for "The Matrix". The moral of the story is that sometimes there are second chances.

Harry Gardner: I don't need the pills anymore. It's the truth!
Belle Noir: You forget you're talking to a fellow writer. Uh... correction: Novelists are writers. Screenwriters are more like creative typists. Really, all we are is professional liars. And the truth is whatever we decide it is.

Harry Gardner: Thank you. Now tell me how the fuck you did that.
Ursula: Well, sometimes it's best not to ask how the sausage is made. Just know that I would do anything for my favorite client.

Ursula: First, we set you up in La La Land so you can start cranking out your pills. There's a whole city bursting with talent just waiting to shell out for a boost.

Alma Gardner: Do you mind? I don't like people watching me while I eat.

Alma Gardner: You shouldn't be messing with police.
The Chemist: I'm sorry, didn't you kill and eat a cop?
Alma Gardner: That was out of necessity.
The Chemist: What I'm doing is out of necessity too. Every one of those pricks had no business protecting and serving. Racist, sadistic garbage.

The Chemist: You're creating a lot of pale people. Especially pushing pills at a Starbucks. No self-respecting writer writes at a Starbucks.
Alma Gardner: So what? If they're talentless, they're useless anyway.
Ursula: That's my girl. I can't believe you turned out so well being raised by Harry and that glass of warm oat milk.

Rory: You're a novelty. A distraction. Audiences will come to see you and get bummed out if you're not featured. It's bad for morale. Makes it impossible to play anything that doesn't have a violin solo. It becomes a freakshow... We play classical music. We are as square as we can be. You're the bearded fucking lady, kid.

Ursula Khan: A writer once said, "Writing is easy. Just sit at your desk, open a vein, and bleed"...

Ursula Khan: Greatness comes with a price. And you just have to ask yourself, how much do you want it? Are you ready to bleed?! Are you?

Ursula Khan: Now, it looks like a pill, but it's not. It's the key to condos in Malibu, to dinner meetings with Charlize, to reservations at the Tower Bar. Tell yourself it's a vitamin. A sugar pill placebo packed with Satan. Just don't say no.

Ursula Khan: Everything you've heard is bullshit. Reality isn't the choice between the blue pill and the red pill. It's the black pill. This pill. My special vitamin brain sauce stimulant with zero risk and maximum upside.

Ursula Khan: I'm gonna tell you a little something about success that is the bedrock of this dirty business that no one else wants to admit. It's just one swallow away. Spit or swallow... the choice is yours.

Ursula Khan: It looks like the streets are running red with blood and metaphors. At least all of those no-talent monsters are taking their pain out in a real way.

Ursula Khan: Being great is hard. The rest of us just don't get it. We drive ourselves crazy with envy longing for just a taste of the delicious madness of the creative mind. But the truth is, most people aren't willing to put in the work. They focus on the success, the notoriety, the wealth that their great piece of art will bring. But the journey there is tedious. And those that achieve greatness only do so because they are fucked up enough to push through the pain and failure it takes to reach your potential.

Ursula Khan: At least with these pills the world can find out if you're any good.

The Chemist: Sorry, baby. Shh, don't cry. We're gonna move on to another place, create another drug... maybe one that will make you and I live forever. Mommy's here. She's on top of it.

Ursula Khan: To be told we are talented, isn't that all we ever want?...

--
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Gaslight

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Red Tide

10×5

Tuberculosis Karen: Mickey?
Mickey: In the flesh.
Tuberculosis Karen: Whose flesh, Mickey?

Mickey: All right, check this out. Here's the plan. You and me, place in the Palisades, parties, premiers, power couple. All them Hollywood p words. I mean, shit, we could be running that town by Christmas. I mean, come on, what's not great about that?
Tuberculosis Karen: The price of admission, that's what.
Mickey: You can make anything sound shitty when you concentrate on the negative, Karen.

Alma Gardner: I still don't understand why you keep her around. .... We're trying to be great at something, daddy. People like her just wanna get through the day. Have breakfast, go shopping, check Facebook. We want to live deep.

Ursula: I don't think you understand what I've been able to pull off these last few weeks regarding your husband's career. Harry is currently in an orbit all his own. He's got a greenlit movie at Warners, he's got two series ready to go at Netflix, and this big rewrite he's working on for the next "Avatar."

Alma Gardner: You don't think she's good enough, daddy?
Ursula: Well, maybe if she doesn't have the talent, she shouldn't take the risk.
Alma Gardner: Do you think you're good enough, mommy?...

Alma Gardner: But it's not darkness. It's a beauty and light. Don't you hear it when I play? Think about all those people that are gonna be touched by daddy's work. Think of those beautiful rooms you can design. Being a little less afraid of the blood. Being more afraid of being mediocre... You can have it all, mommy. Just like us.

Mickey: I'll help you, all right? It'll be easy. We'll find someone easy. Someone who deserves it.
Tuberculosis Karen: How do you know who deserves it?
Mickey: We'll find someone who's better off dead, okay? You know this place is full of those kinda people. I mean, gosh, they come here like flies.

Mickey: But first... You have to feed.

Ursula: Well, I said it before, and I'll say it again: Some people have it, and some people don't. There is nothing more tragic, pathetic, and sad than a person with no talent trying to make it in the world.

Mickey: If you want your "starry night," you have to feed.

--
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Blood Buffet

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Red Tide

10×4

Holden Vaughn: You know, back in the day, you'd walk downtown, and you'd see boys getting butt-fucked on front porches like some kind of perverted Norman Rockwell painting. It was true homosexual Americana. Now it's Mom and Dad or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom and baby stroller gridlock all fucking summer long.

Holden Vaughn: Let's cut the bullshit. A big-city chemist looking for a quiet place with great ventilation in a town where the things that are most plentiful for eight months a year are methheads, choppy seas, and depression? That sounds like a woman looking to set up her own little meth lab.
The Chemist: I have a PhD from Harvard. Meth is well below my pay grade.
Holden Vaughn: Good. 'Cause the sheriff has a nose like a truffle pig for that junk.

The Chemist: I think the medicine has different effects on creative and noncreative people. It's almost like the noncreative ones can tolerate their lack of talent until they're confronted with it. Then their mediocrity drives 'em mad. So... Wanna try one?
Mickey: Fuck no!
The Chemist: Maybe you're one of the talented ones...
Mickey: Um... Thanks but no, thanks.

Belle Noir: I'm so happy.
Mickey: Uh, yeah, that's the drugs.
Belle Noir: Then I want more.
Mickey: Yeah, you see, it doesn't really work that way. First time's the best, and then, uh, you end up chasing that high forever, and you never catch it.

Mickey: Uh, you know, I, uh... I know someone that can give you something else. Something that can make you happy forever.
Belle Noir: How come you're not taking it?
Mickey: 'Cause it's, uh... it's not for me. It only works for people like you. Artists.

The Chemist: Mickey tell you what I'm offering?
Belle Noir: Making all my dreams come true. I'm in.
The Chemist: You wanna know about the side effects?
Belle Noir: I know I'm talented.

Belle Noir: Whatever it takes... To finding my destiny.

Pale Person #1: I need a coat. And I don't have a lot of money.
Lark: I got just the thing.
Pale Person #1: These look expensive.
Lark: They were, in the '80s. All the fashion gays from New York and Boston came out here to let their dicks and rainbow flags fly. Then they all died and left behind closets full of this high-fashion stuff. When the straight yuppies moved into town, they cleaned out the closets and donated all of it to us.

Pale Person #1: I don't know what happened. I'm a vegan. I don't even eat those Impossible Burgers, but the thirst for her was too much.

Pale Person #1: Why? I told you, I'm a pacifist.
The Chemist: You hate everyone because you now know the truth about yourself. You're not talented. You don't have what it takes. The talented ones need the blood, but their rage comes from their arrogance and certainty that they're better than everyone. The rage of the untalented is much darker, more intense. You hate the world for giving you dreams that were too big.

The Chemist: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have plenty of company soon. Soon as word gets out about what I'm sellin' here, every asshole whose mother told him he could be the next Elvis or Tyler Perry gonna take a chance on that little black pill. Nine out of ten of 'em are gonna end up just like you.

Austin Summers: You know, men have been performing in women's clothing since the time of the Greeks. You all just appropriated it for gay culture.

Austin Summers: What's that?
Belle Noir: It's your new starter switch. It's the highway to your true self.
Austin Summers: Fuck it.

Belle Noir: You can't win 'em all. I'm full anyway.
Austin Summers: What do we do now?
Belle Noir: Now... we go write.

--
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Thirst

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Red Tide

10×3

Alma Gardner: I think that there are people that are really good at something... And then there's everybody else. I feel like everybody else could just disappear one day and it wouldn't matter.
Harry Gardner: .... Me too.

Harry Gardner: That's what happened to those pale people. They took the pills, but they didn't have any talent, so they turned into nothing. But you were great already. You didn't need to take the pills.
Alma Gardner: But I don't want to be great. I want to be the greatest.

Alma Gardner: I don't know if I could do that.
Harry Gardner: That's the price of being the greatest.

Alma Gardner: Dad?
Harry Gardner: Yes, honey?
Alma Gardner: I'm hungry now.

Harry Gardner: Do you mind if I come in?...

Ursula: I didn't come all this way to deal with emotional shit. You know, you want that, get a manager.

Ursula: I thought I would hop on over here and check on you. And no one told me what an enormous pain in the ass it is to come out here.
Harry Gardner: I think there's a ferry you can take from Boston. You just drive your car right on.
Ursula: Oh, no, no, I don't like to ride in vehicles that carry other vehicles. It just... It does not feel right to me.

Harry Gardner: What? Oh, my God! No, no, Quentin writes everything himself.
Ursula: Up until now. But he said... And I quote... "That motherfucker is a better writer than I am." And then he said something about how he just got married and so it's harder for him to do what he has to do to write things and that you would understand what that means and why he wants you to write it.

Ursula: There are fewer talented writers in the world than there are astronauts. There's a few great ones, a lot of terrible ones, and a pack of interchangeable ones who move from one network writer's room to the next. My client Harry was one of those writers until he arrived here. And now he's Mark fucking Twain.

Ursula: Sorry, homeboy, but there is something weird going on out here, and I want to know what it is. You guys sell your souls to the devil? Aliens? Uh, little writer elves?

Mickey: You don't understand. See, it's... It's really fucked up, what happens when you take them.
Ursula: I represent the producers of "The Bachelor." Fucked up is my bread and butter.

Belle Noir: I've never pictured a more inhospitable home than yours, Mickey. How do you not just wake up and kill yourself every day?

Mickey: I'm one of you now.
Belle Noir: Honey, you're a paper airplane and I'm a 747. Don't you ever think you're anything like me just because you can fly a little.

Holden Vaughn: When I'm looking to get inspired, I like to go down to the beach and feel the colors. The color of the waves, of the... of the sky, of the sand.
Chief Burleson: What do colors feel like?
Holden Vaughn: What does love feel like? What does Mahler feel like? What does the perfect Jean Prouvé chair feel like? Darling, if you have to ask, you wouldn't understand.

Holden Vaughn: I like it here, though, in the winter. It's quieter. Except for those pale, strange homeless creatures wearing the AIDS-era couture...

Mickey: There's a chemist. I know where their house is, but look, there's two rules when you're out here, right? Never steal lobsters out of another man's pot, and never go near that house.

--
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Pale

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Red Tide

10×2

Harry Gardner: I didn't wanna say this because emotions were high, but you know, if you walk out on this job, it's gonna be very difficult for you to get another one. Not after bailing on the last one you had.
Doris Gardner: They were pushy clients with terrible taste. They didn't understand minimalism at all! Or a monochromatic blush color scheme... thank you very much... which is very now, by the way. And I think I have a very good excuse for not finishing this one!

Doris Gardner: Let's just give him some space to be an asshole artist for a couple of days, and I am sure this fever of his will break.

Doris Gardner: Okay, what do you think of a couch in one of these, and the wall in this?
Alma Gardner: Looks like the same color.
Doris Gardner: What? No! They are slightly different. It's called "tone on tone". A lot of the Instagram design accounts are featuring it right now.
Alma Gardner: This one feels like a cactus. And this one feels like you would slide right off of it.

Belle Noir: He's going to have to upgrade his diet if he wants to keep feeling that way.
Austin Summers: Speaking of which, Belle o' the ball, I'm hungies. Let's go up the Cape and find a snack.
Belle Noir: Mm...

Austin Summers: You want to know the best part? It only works if you have talent.

Austin Summers: See, if you take the pill, and you don't have a creative seed in your brain already, the pill destroys you... turns you into a flesh phantom. Always thirsty, never satisfied or employed. And who knows where talent comes from? No one!

Harry Gardner: But now I'm draining packages of raw steak to drink the juices, and... and sucking the blood out of my wife's finger. Why?
Austin Summers: Metaphorically... I don't know. Maybe something about, uh, artists stealing other people's lifeblood to inspire our work. Scientifically, the drug severely depletes the four major minerals in our blood. See, Harry, you can't survive on the pill without replacing those minerals in heroic doses. And cartons of cow meat ain't gonna cut it, champ. You're gonna need that fresh, warm stuff from something that has opposable thumbs.

Harry Gardner: Netflix offered me a deal. We're gonna be rich!

Harry Gardner: I just need one more to finish the series I'm working on.
Belle Noir: Well, that's what they all say. Just one more book, one more movie, one more hit play, and then I'll just stop for good. It doesn't work that way, pretty. There's nothing more addictive than success. You've tasted it now, and you're never going to be able to live without it.

Belle Noir: Keep your coat on. We're going out to eat.

Harry Gardner: How many people have taken these pills?
Belle Noir: A few. More lately.
Harry Gardner: Why the increase?
Austin Summers: Streamers.

Harry Gardner: And what constitutes a good feed?
Belle Noir: There are 9 to 12 pints of blood in the human body, and Belle and I usually split that...

Harry Gardner: Murdering human beings to drink their blood?
Belle Noir: Yes, it sounds fucking terrible! We're not dining on doctors or eating up engineers or snacking on scientists. We find the ones who won't be missed. The ones who are a drain on society. It's basically a community service.

Belle Noir: Just remember, there are only two rules. Don't ever feed off anyone in P-Town. .... And... never take your gloves off.

Tuberculosis Karen: How do you know so much about movies?
Mickey: I love movies. They're my whole life.

Mickey: You know, we should take some of those pills. Look, I, uh, stole them from Belle. ...
Tuberculosis Karen: No! You know what these do to people.
Mickey: Yeah, makes them rich and famous.
Tuberculosis Karen: They make you bloodsuckers! Murderers!
Mickey: Look, if you want real success, you've got to compromise a little bit. Everyone's gotta go Darth Vader to get ahead in life, right?

Mickey: Wait, you think I'd turn into one of those pale zombies. Y-y-you don't think I have any talent at all, do you?

Tuberculosis Karen: But what if you're not talented? What if you end up like one of the bad ones?
Mickey: Look around. Anything's better than this...

Belle Noir: Enough talking. Mama's hungry.

Lark: I changed my name to Lark. ... It's kind of hard to be taken seriously in the tat community when your name's Leslie Feldman.

Harry Gardner: Oh, no thanks. My wife and I agreed never to get tattoos. It's... it's in our wedding vows.
Lark: Did you agree to never murder people and drink their blood too? Shit happens.

Lark: Look at it this way... doing this will make it so you have to eat less people.

Doris Gardner: You don't think I'm a great mother?
Alma Gardner: I am who I am. What part of me would not be me if I was raised by some other perfectly ordinary woman?

--
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Cape Fear

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Red Tide

10×1

Doris Gardner: I think it's a little creepy.
Harry Gardner: Okay, well, you know, creepy can be beautiful.
Doris Gardner: Spoken like a true writer.

Martha: Welcome to Provincetown... Or P-town, as we call it. You know, the pilgrims landed here before they landed in Plymouth.

Alma Gardner: It looks haunted.
Harry Gardner: Every house in Provincetown is haunted, sweetheart. It's the ghosts of all the old whalers drowned at sea.

Doris Gardner: This is the perfect place for you to work without distraction and for me to get some real experience. I think it's gonna be fun.
Harry Gardner: Me too.
Doris Gardner: Like a babymoon.
Harry Gardner: Mm. Okay.

Harry Gardner: Uh, what did I do to deserve this?
Austin Summers: You have that look about you.
Harry Gardner: One that says I need a drink?
Austin Summers: One that says you need a positive review.
Belle Noir: We're fellow travelers. Warriors of words. Soldiers of syntax. Pugilists of prose.
Austin Summers: Writers.

Austin Summers: This place, it just, uh...
Belle Noir: Inspires us.

Harry Gardner: No, thanks. I don't like to get drunk during the day.
Austin Summers: Well, the key is to be drunk so often, you can't tell the difference between being drunk and sober. You're just drunk or... more drunk.

Harry Gardner: What are these?
Austin Summers: They don't have a name. Funny how we found a pill to help artists and writers but none of us have ever given it a name.

Harry Gardner: There's a catch. There's always a catch.
Austin Summers: You could have been a fucking English teacher or an adman or help run your daddy's sporting goods store...
Harry Gardner: My father was a lawyer.
Austin Summers: Yes, but you chose to be a writer. Because you don't really live in this world. You observe it. You interpret it. You feed off of it. And then you sit and you put words together so that the poor suckers who do live in the world can see what they look like, who they are, why they hurt. And you chose it because you want love and attention and barrels of money. It's fucking insane. But those are the only things that can fill that hole... in your soul. Hole... in your soul. Hole in your soul. Hole in your soul! Hole in your soul...

Austin Summers: Are you a real writer?... I don't think you are. 'Cause if you were... You wouldn't care what the price was for getting uncorked. You'd rather die than keep all of those wonderful words bottled up inside of you... Take the pill, Harry.

--
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Final Girl

American Horror Story. 1984

9×9

Montana: We were forgotten. Something else must have gotten their attention.

Montana: I'll tell you, but you first. What's going on out there? What's the music like? What do people do to stay in shape? Who's the president? Uh, what did people think of the '80s? Did Judd Nelson ever get his Oscar?

Bobby: The '80s are having a little comeback now. I mean, people like the clothes and the music, but aerobics is kind of a joke these days.

Montana: It's a long story.
Trevor: It was Halloween 1989...

Margaret: Trevor, darling, haven't you heard? People can run from me, but they never get away.

Montana: Dude, he freaking made it through, because Billy Idol is a survivor! Come on, think about it. You can't sing "rebel yell" and not be a rebel.

Ramirez: I'll come back. I'll come back... For all of you.

Montana: For 30 straight years, that's exactly what we've given him. A literal death watch. There are over 40 souls here. We all take turns. The second he wakes, we're on him like flies on shit.

---

Donna: She was thorough. I'll give her that. Opportunistic. Smart. A straight up psychopath. Put all that into a blender, and you got one of the most vicious serial killers of the 20th century.

Shoot her over the property line!

Montana: Actually, the brain can live on for about 30 seconds after decapitation...

Bobby: So you were the last one. The only one.
Donna: The final girl.

Bobby: There must be someone else who knows... Someone else who made it out. Maybe you weren't the final girl after all...

Bobby: You did what all good parents do. You... You sacrificed yourself for your child.

Benjamin: Forget this place and go live.

Margaret: I win! I am the final girl. I am always the final girl!

Montana: Get out of here and never come back. But don't forget us. Tell our ghost stories to your children, and we'll live on forever. The '80s will never die.

--
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Rest in Pieces

American Horror Story. 1984

9×8

Donna: Margaret's probably got that "crazy person" strength, and you're gonna need that kind of strength if you want to be the final girl.
Brooke: Final girl?
Donna: Oh. That's right, you missed the '80s. Every horror movie has a final girl... the one who survives it all and lives to tell the tale. As I see it, that's either you or Margaret.
Brooke: Why can't it be you?
Donna: A black final girl? Sweetheart, they kill folks off with my complexion first.

Stacey Phillips: It's funny, ... back in the '70s, all anyone cared about was Bigfoot and aliens, the Loch Ness Monster, all that Leonard Nimoy In Search of... shit. But the '80s have been all about serial killers, human monsters.

Stacey: Have you been to a high school lately? It's not John Hughes. Kids are doing coke, bringing guns to school. All these clearly gay British musicians pretending to be straight. History's gonna look back at the '80s as the era of bullshit. Honestly, between Iran-Contra, AIDS, that TV show Small Wonder and crack, I'm pretty sure the '80s are gonna be the end of the world as we know it.

Bruce: I don't go in for that New Wave shit. The Eagles, man, that's where I come out. CCR. Bob Seger. It's all about the storytelling, you know?

Margaret: Everyone is still coming. No one is going to miss Kaja-fucking-googoo and their one hit single!

Jonas: It gets better. First time always feels the worst.
Benjamin: I f-f... felt everything. Pain. Fear. The... sudden disconnection with everything.
Jonas: Like you're drifting in space?
Benjamin: Yes!
Jonas: Alone. Forever.
Benjamin: How many times have you died?

---

Montana: We can feel fleeting pleasure. We can feel pain, we can feel scared, happy, in love, but... the only feeling that really lasts is a constant longing.
Trevor: For what?
Montana: To be alive. To be dead. To be anything but stuck here.

Trevor: There's nothing back there for me. The '80s are over. People don't even do coke anymore. Eh, fashion is boring. Lots of flannel. And good luck finding an aerobics class.

Trevor: I love you, Montana. You're '80s forever.

Brooke: You don't believe me?
Stacey: Oh, honey, I do. In my experience, truth is often stranger than fiction. I made a good living because of that. But in a way, it doesn't matter, because this is your story told from your point of view, so whatever you say is right is right.

Donna: Truth is not malleable!
Stacey: I work for the Enquirer. My motto is: Never let the facts get in the way of the truth, and never let the truth get in the way of a story that sells.

Xavier: You just turned me into a kabob. I might be dead, but I'm still traumatized.

Donna: This isn't who you are. There's evil inside you, yes. It's in us all, dormant and waiting... It grows in us like a cancer, but only if you feed it what it wants. Our hate and anger.

Brooke: ...And we can both be final girls?

Margaret: I don't know what she told you, but anything is too much.

Trevor: I was thinking... which generally gets me into trouble...

Lavinia: The past... it will haunt you forever if you let it.

--
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The Lady in White

American Horror Story. 1984

9×7

Brooke: You can't not think about it. Of the decade you never got a chance to live. The '80s was morning in America, and I spent my morning in lockup...

Donna: There is one place the '80s will never be over...

Brooke: One day in the sun doesn't erase five years of darkness.

Bruce: Everybody's a stranger... 'til they're not.

Benjamin: What does being a ghost feel like?
Montana: It's actually not that bad. There's a constant feeling of emptiness and longing, but that's pretty much how I felt when I was alive, so...
Benjamin: Do you feel pain?
Chet: Xavier: Yes.
Ray: And fear.
Montana: But we can feel pleasure, too...

Bruce: Karma's a bitch, girls.

---

Bruce: Concrete is so unforgiving. These old roads are like cheese graters. Rip your clothes clean off at 40 miles an hour. At 50, human skin sloughs off like wet paper. Bones are ground into nubs as you try to hold your face up. But one little bump... and you're bouncing. That's when pieces of you start falling off.

Courtney: Who are you?
Margaret: Oh, that's Kajagoogoo, you idiot! Limahl, are you gonna play "Too Shy"? I love that song.
Limahl: Oh, that's the only song we're going to play. It's our biggest hit. It's the only song anyone wants to hear.
Margaret: Wait, just one song? What about "NeverEnding Story"?
Limahl: Oh, it's from my solo career. I wouldn't dream of playing it with the band.

Brooke: Your hitchhiking days are over. Asshole.

Ramirez: When you sign a contract with the devil... you better understand the fine print.

Lavinia: You shouldn't be here. You don't deserve to sit in the place where he died.

Benjamin: What kind of man would I be if I didn't do everything I could to protect my son?

--
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Episode 100

American Horror Story. 1984

9×6

Ricky: Idol only plays one way: full throttle... What? You don't got Billy Idol in France?

Trevor: I'm... blackmailing you, Margaret. Why would you want to marry me?
Margaret: Because, darling... they can't make you testify against your spouse.

Xavier: Being good got me nowhere, but being bad feels really good.

Ricky: Electric chair. That's how I'd want to go, if they give me a choice. Bolts of lightning shattering through my body. That's rock and roll. But lethal injection? That one's no fun. Sounds like just one shot. But no. They inject the anesthetic first. Makes you lose consciousness. So they say. Doesn't always take. Then the paralytic, my personal favorite. Makes your lungs stop working, but your heart keeps beating, which means you're still alive. But you can't move because no one wants to see you writhing from the pain of the last injection... Potassium chloride. Odorless. Colorless. Liquid fire. It burns through your veins. They say sedation makes it more humane. So you won't suffer. That's a lie. It will burn and snake through your body until it gets to your heart and stops it. Forever.

Margaret: We are just beginning. Murder has always sold well.

---

Lorraine: You were a murderer, and I was a prostitute. And people like us need to forget the past. All we have is now, and all we can do is answer one question every day... Are you happy?

Chet: That bitch needs to die.

Margaret: It was a fucking bore is what it was. They really should bring back the guillotine. I would have paid good money to see her head roll.

Customer: Dude, I came here last night and rented three movies. Friday the 13th, Faces of Death, and Nightmare on Elm Street. But th-this is what you gave me.
Benjamin: Um... Terms of Endearment, Mystic Pizza, and... Tootsie.
Customer: Is this some kind of joke or are you just plain stupid? There's not one kill in those three movies.
Benjamin: You shouldn't watch horror movies. There's too much violence in this society.

Donna Chambers: Welcome back to the land of the living.

--
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Red Dawn

American Horror Story. 1984

9×5

Ricky: Just because something seems inconceivable doesn't mean that it can't be true.

Dee Dee: What the fuck are you?
Ricky: Evil. Pure. Uncut. You think it can be treated like an infection, but there is no cure, no pill to take. The darkness resides in everyone. Even you.

Chet: What if that's just it? You die, and then nothing. Just big, black nothing.
Margaret: Well, you wouldn't feel that way if you believed in God. God judges the righteous and the wicked, for when the cold hand of death squeezes the last breath from your lungs, it'll be too late to ask for forgiveness.
Chet: Thanks for the heads-up.

Brooke: I pretended for so long to be somebody that I wasn't. Now I don't even know who I am.

Ray: Oh, my God. Is that my head in there?

---

Mr. Jingles: There's only one kill left.

Ricky: Do you. Accept Satan. As your master?

Bus Driver: Here we are at Camp Redwood. You all ready for a fun summer?

Ricky: I just wanted to go home.
Jonas: This is home.

Sheriff: You okay? Tell me what's wrong.
Montana: I'm fucking dead, that's what.

Montana: There is no Montana. Only Zuul... It's a joke, lighten up. You guys are doing this purgatory thing all wrong. We can be gods here.

Ricky: Hey. Seat belt.
Benjamin: Seat belt?

--
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True Killers

American Horror Story. 1984

9×4

Montana: Ah! Let's hit it, boys. Come on. Shut up and dance... Kick. And jump. Two, three. And other side. Thrust. And thrust. Hips, and roll it. And touch that hair. And roll that pussy. Come on, yeah!

Montana: Would you kill me? Would you kill for me?

Bertie: I'll fix you something. Peanut butter and jelly, right?... I never forget a sandwich order.

Bertie: We can't fix what's already done. But we always got a say in what happens next.

Bertie: You always hated the crust...

Donna Chambers: I knew you'd go left. Textbook victim mentality, seeking safety in numbers.

Donna Chambers: Victims of serial killers are overwhelmingly female. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Margaret Booth: You were just a guy who was in the wrong place at the right time.

--
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Slashdance

American Horror Story. 1984

9×3

Ray: That's right. There are four of us. And if we split up and make a run for it, the best he can do is just get one... It's Darwin, man! Survival of the fittest. It's our only chance.

Brooke: We are not leaving anybody behind.

Pete: Look, I know you guys didn't have to take me. ... But when I'm wearing this mask, I am Jingles, the most ruthless killer of all time. Just let me be a badass for one night.

Donna Chambers: I've been studying serial killers for the past five years. Since the mid-1970s there's been an uptick in spree or serial killings. Why? Were there suddenly more evil men born? Or... did the increased availability of pornography and the psychic echo of the war in Southeast Asia damage the minds of otherwise good men?
Benjamin Richter: ... High fructose corn syrup. It's in everything now-a-days. They say it's bad for you. Maybe... uh, that has something to do with it, too.

Donna Chambers: Sometimes sacrifices need to be made in the name of science.

---

Donna Chambers: How many bunnies had to die to get the formula right?

Donna Chambers: It's time to stop the violence.
Benjamin Richter: But why?

Benjamin Richter: Did someone hurt you?
Donna Chambers: I have my reasons. But, most importantly... I believe that no one is born evil, Benjamin. No one is irredeemable.

Donna Chambers: If you ask me, all those murders are because of the availability of pornography and the objectification of women in our culture... That's what that Ted Bundy said.

Xavier: If-if I kill you, I'm so sorry. On three. Okay?

Trevor: We could take him. There's three of us.
Xavier: Chet can barely move and Jingles has a knife.
Trevor: His knife... versus my guns.

--
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Mr. Jingles

American Horror Story. 1984

9×2

Margaret Booth: You know, Karen, God helps those who help themselves. I've survived him before, and if he is stupid enough to show up, then I can promise you... Mr. Jingles will not survive me.

Margaret Booth: Boys and girls together after dark...
Brooke: Ms. Booth, I think we're in danger—
Margaret Booth: Yes. We are in danger. From sin.

Margaret Booth: A clean body is a clean mind. How many times do I have to go over the rules? Boys shower at night. No exceptions. Now go wash the filth off so you can wake up pure and refreshed for morning prayer.

Trevor: He's the dead guy with a fucking hole in his head!

Jonas: You need to leave. It's not safe.

Margaret Booth: Who are you?
Richard Ramirez: A servant of the Lord's son.
Margaret Booth: You're a Christian?
Richard Ramirez: The other son. The one He cast out.

Richard Ramirez: I killed this guy. And I mean I killed him dead, no question.
Margaret Booth: I see. Was that the first time you've killed someone?
Richard Ramirez: No. But it's the first time I had to do it twice.

Richard Ramirez: I killed him. And then he was alive again. How?
Margaret Booth: Well, Jesus, of course. The point of religion, of God, is to be there when there's no other way to explain something.

---

Richard Ramirez: The worst thing that ever happened to me... Everything.

Margaret Booth: Do you want to know the other great thing about God? You can use him to explain why something happened, but you can also use him to explain why you did something. Even something horrible. Isn't that great?

Richard Ramirez: So I don't have to feel bad for anything I do?
Margaret Booth: Not if you're doing God's work.
Richard Ramirez: Or Satan's.
Margaret Booth: And you say you didn't do well in school...

Margaret Booth: All you need to have the freedom to do whatever you want is two things... God and trauma.

Montana: Fuck you, Camp Redwood!

Jonas: Margaret? But you look so different.
Margaret Booth: You look exactly the same.
Jonas: But I thought you were dead!
Margaret Booth: I'm not, but I think you might be.

Jonas: Ghosts aren't real.
Margaret Booth: There are ghosts in the Bible, and you're here, so they must be real.

Xavier: We're all gonna die.

--
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Camp Redwood

American Horror Story. 1984

9×1

Montana: It's just that it's L.A.... you can't make friends unless you get a little aggressive, right?

Brooke: I heard serial killers become more active in the summer months when it's hot.... Because people sleep with their windows open at night.

Xavier: I'm telling you, it's gonna be worth it. You don't want to be in this town this summer. It could cost you your life.

Gasoline Guy: You say Redwood?... Turn around. Go back to the city. They never should have opened that place up again.

Gasoline Guy: You're all gonna die.

Margaret Booth: All children must have a buddy to go into the water. The lake is allegedly bottomless, and drowning is the number one cause of death for U.S. campers.
Xavier: What's second?

---

Margaret Booth: This is the girls' cabin. And this is the boys' cabin. Girls are red. Boys are blue. Don't even try to make purple.

Xavier: You expect us to be celibate all summer?
Margaret Booth: Well, I'm not banning self-abuse. Although every stroke soils your soul. But how could I ever enforce it?
Xavier: It's 1984, Margaret. They're building coed showers in the West Hollywood gym. You ever hear of the sexual revolution? Sex won.
Margaret Booth: I am aware of the decadence of our era. Women's underwear that shows the buttocks. Pornography in your own home. Van Halen. I have been fighting the Lord's fight against filth around the world for years...

Rita: How did we get these jobs with no prior experience? That's because anybody that knows anything about Camp Redwood doesn't want to be in Camp Redwood.

Margaret Booth: If you're gonna tell a story, tell it right.

Montana: No, no, no. Wait. You were in the Jane Fonda workout video.
Trevor: Ah. Originally, yes. First row, right next to Ms. Fonda herself. I call her Jane...

Margaret Booth: What happened to you? Cleanliness is next to godliness. Go clean yourself up!

--
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Apocalypse Then

American Horror Story. Apocalypse

8×10

Myrtle Snow: I'm here to visit the founders of this venerable institution... Mr. Mutt Nutter and Mr. Jeff Pfister.

Myrtle Snow: Purple is for royalty, dear, not middle management.

Jeff Pfister: So while the world is burning, Johansson and Lawrence and Theron are in the Bahamas... and we're in West Virginia with Professor Michio Kaku.
Mutt Nutter: He's a brilliant guy!
Jeff Pfister: So was Einstein, but if it's between him and Marilyn Monroe, fuck the theory of relativity.

Madison Montgomery: Coco is the plan?! The calorie counter's gonna save humanity?

Myrtle Snow: Gather around, witches...

Madison Montgomery: All right, ladies, we're here. Don't forget to rate me five stars. Please.

Madison Montgomery: I want permission to burn a witch!

Madison Montgomery: She has a new talk show on TV. I saw the ad on the side of a bus. There is no way that bitch could get a show on television without selling her soul to the devil.

Myrtle Snow: We have to clear the rot. Madison, you get the gasoline, I'll get the wood.

Madison Montgomery: Sorry about your little toy... bitch.

Madison Montgomery: Oh, fuck. I guess it's back to retail.

---

Michael Langdon: Normally, that'd work. But I'm nothing like normal.

Myrtle Snow: It appears as though we're fucked, my dear.

Cordelia Goode: You still don't get it, do you? Even now. You think there's only winning and losing, success and failure. But failure is when you've lost any semblance of hope.

Cordelia Goode: You will get to watch me die, but you won't find it satisfying. Satan has one son, but my sisters are legion, motherfucker.

Mallory: Nothing ever truly dies. We are all made of energy, and energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be transferred from one form to another. The trick is to be able to go back and pick the right moment in time and let it play out from there.

Cordelia: I see you know some magic.
Mallory: Not the way you do.

Mallory: Guess everyone hates their boss, even in Hell.

Mallory: And in changing the past, a part of me will always wonder what it truly means for the future.

Timothy: It's nice to meet someone who's clearly going to change the world...

--
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