Sluga naroda #1.12

Servant of the People 1×12

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Dad!
Petr Holoborodko: Not so loud. Why are you yelling?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Do you think it's okay to be an unlicensed taxi driver?
Petr Holoborodko: Am I stupid? A license costs money. Plus, if I work legally, they will cut my pension, fershtein?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: I fershtein. Do you fershtein that it's illegal to evade taxes?
Petr Holoborodko: I don't pay taxes. All they do is steal your money.

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.11

Servant of the People 1×11

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: One sec, Yuriy Ivanovich. The dollar is at eight!... That also works.

Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Oksana, let's agree that from now on, we'll no longer spoil each other's moods with jokes.

Arkadiy: Gentlemen, it's a brilliant idea. Pay attention. The Kremlin is in the frame. And so is a Russian jingoist. A typical one with a fur cap. And he says the most common phrase in a Moscow accent, "What do I look like, a sucker? I don't pay taxes and don't intend to." End quote. A slogan to finish. "Only Russian jingoists don't pay taxes."

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.10

Servant of the People 1×10

Olga Yurievna Mischenko: You're being so official.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: It's an official holiday. It's Bank Employee Day. Best wishes on behalf of the president. From the entire presidential office. From Parliament and your colleagues. I wish you a strong hryvnia, or nerves.

Mila Skorik: Don't think about your conscience. You did everything right! Well done. I could be your conscience. Let me suffer.

Mila Skorik: I'll go to church and light candles. And let's travel. Where to? Egypt? And go camel riding? Or bamboleo, Brazil! Where to? To Spain! Just say where! Lord... Standing here like that...? People will see. Or, we could buy a house. A big, cheerful one. With a swimming pool? And a fur coat. Two! One for you and one for me. Identical, in white. And we'll fix mom's teeth!... It's okay. I can do it on my own. I've got it, no worries... Did you count it? Nobody has cheated you? Well done! I'm proud of you. I love you!

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.9

Servant of the People 1×9

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Well, I'm not lying when I say that four out of five isn't a bad outcome.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Frankly, I'm not used to counting people as things.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: You'd better get used to it. Emotions interfere with work.

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.8

Servant of the People 1×8

Dmitriy Vasilievich: We're not only bankers. We're also surgeons.
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: Clearly. So... There's no way out?
Dmitriy Vasilievich: There is.
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: Enlighten me, then.
Dmitriy Vasilievich: Relax and have fun.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: "If you have a good army, you will find good allies."
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Machiavelli.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Correct. It's as though he looked into a crystal ball.

Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: It's some country in Asia.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Which country?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Ugandiya!
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Uganda. And it's in Africa, not Asia.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Who cares, Vasya. A coup is underway.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What coup?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Military. We have to act! But how?
If it's military, then condemn it.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: The U.S. approved it.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Then also approve it.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: But China condemned it!
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Then maintain a neutral stance.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: No, Vasya. That's what the Swiss do.

Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Put simply... Why do we always deliberate over the coups in Africa? Negroes are also people! Let them coup if they want.
Journalist: You, clearly, meant to say Africans?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Negroes, Africans... No difference. Aren't negroes and Africans the same? Or is "negro" a bad word? I didn't say "nigger", I said "negroes". Incidentally, have you heard a joke about this? I'll tell you...

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.7

Servant of the People 1×7

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Here! Here's a pretty good one. Our kind of guy. Two university degrees, mind you. A PhD and professor. 20 years in the upper echelons of power. This person is fit for any post. His last name is Ukrainian, not Georgian... Yanukovich. Yanukovich, how?! He's in Ukraine?!
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: The application was mailed. But the candidate is ready to talk on Skype and wants a clean slate.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: As a bus depot manager? The looney bin!

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: It's some kind of vicious cycle. An honest person must be stupid, then. A smart person must be a thief.
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: A bachelor must be a sex freak.

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: I don't understand... Are all the normal people in this country just gone?
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: Not all the people. The men are gone.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Vasyl Petrovych. Name at least one reason why Parliament should vote for them.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Yuriy Ivanovich, name at least one reason why I shouldn't bring the people to the Maidan?

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Why the sour faces on everyone? Chiefly, we're together.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: We'll get our asses kicked.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: In what way?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: When we're together, we always get our asses kicked.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: When was the last time that happened?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: I don't remember. We got our asses kicked so hard that I can barely recollect.

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.6

Servant of the People 1×6

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: I'll never forsake my principles. The people need change. So if you want to shoot, go ahead and shoot. But mark my words, I'm happy to die for my country.

Glotov: Vasyl Petrovych! Tell us, is it cool being president?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What's cool, Glotov, is that in your report, you called the Golden Horde Mongolian-fascist invaders. That was cool.

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.5

Servant of the People 1×5

Economy Minister: Nothing changes in this country. If I had it my way, I wouldn't wait for that clown-- Welcome, Vasyl Petrovych.

Che Gevara: Do you really think you can change them? You can change them only with an aspen stake... or with a silver bullet! They need to be shot or hung.

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Dear... Dear Deputies! Dear... Putin has been deposed!... I was kidding. I couldn't stop you any other way. Sit down, dear publicly elected officials.

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: I've been wanting to meet all of you. I don't know how to start. So I'll start from the very beginning. From democracy... You're servants of the people. You all know what democracy is. Frankly, people define it to their liking. In actuality, the Greek word "democracy" translates as "rule of the people". Demos kratos. People. Power. Not "kratodemiya". You understand? Not "rule over the people"... but vice versa.
     We do have a democracy. Isn't that right? I mean, that's what you constantly repeat on television. The rule in our country truly does belong to the people. Consequently, the public hires you, and me in particular, for the job. Please explain, then, why I, as an average voter, with a history teacher's salary, can't afford a cramped, 50-year-old prefab flat... when you, my subordinates, live in luxury mansions? Don't you think that's weird? Or am I the only one who sees the anomaly?
     Are you doing okay? You're public servants, indeed! Where does it say that servants should live better than their masters? Or maybe you're simply confused and serve another master? Instead of serving the people, you're the lackeys of oligarchs.
     Don't you want to do something good for the country? Do you really believe that in the afterlife... they accept platinum credit cards?

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.4

Servant of the People 1×4

Maria Goloborodko: Okay, so, you have salad, burger patties and a thermos with Borscht. Bring the containers back.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: No need. I can eat downtown.
Maria Goloborodko: Downtown? It's expensive!
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Okay. Is that all?
Maria Goloborodko: No, wait a second. Most importantly...
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What's the pin for?
Maria Goloborodko: The pin? To ward off the opposition. They all give you the evil eye. They won't jinx you.

Sergei Pavlovich: I want to count personally. Every ballot!
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: But why recount your 3%?
Sergei Pavlovich: Three and a half.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: He has 60%.
Sergei Pavlovich: That's an error.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: But how could 60% be an error?
Sergei Pavlovich: It's the nation that erred. I'll give them a second chance. Let them vote again, Yura. Text message votes will save me, Yura. Text message votes, Yura!

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko: Don't worry, Arkadiy Grigorevich. I'll maintain your high standards. After all, the success of any enterprise rests on three pillars. Hard work, honesty and fairness.
Arkadiy Grigorevich: Who said that one?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko: Vasyl Holoborodko.
Arkadiy Grigorevich: Yes... Who's that?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko: It's not important.

Sergei Pavlovich: I bet one million, that boy won't last one month in the job. "Hard work and honesty". I almost died laughing!

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Why are you giving me that look? You don't like me?
Bella Rudolfovna: You're my fifth president...

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.3

Servant of the People 1×3

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Isn't this Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address of 1863?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: That's actually great. Wonderful! Nobody here will notice, and Lincoln's homeland will praise it. You'll have to ask them for money.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Then how about I use my own words?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: My dearest Vasyl Petrovych, hear me out. Trust in my lifelong experience. Any ad-libbing leads to Bushisms like, "They misunderestimated me." Therefore, let's keep to the text, please.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Let's start.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What should I do?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Not much. Smile, nod, and shake hands. Most importantly, say little to avoid apologizing a lot later.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Shake the hand softly. She should dominate. The shake decides how much aid Germany's central bank will give us.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Vasyl Petrovych, pardon me, but it didn't dawn on me to ask. Perhaps, you'd like... a first lady?

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.2

Servant of the People 1×2

Plutarch: They lead the world in oil production.
Aristophanes: Olive oil?
Plutarch: Sunflower oil.
Aristophanes: Right. There is such a thing. I see.
Plutarch: The world's third largest grain producer.
Aristophanes: That's right.
Plutarch: They also make airplanes, combine harvesters, cars...
Aristophanes: Cars? Not really...
Plutarch: Tractors!
Aristophanes: Right, tractors. That's good... So what needs changing? They've got paradise.
Plutarch: But the country is facing default.
Aristophanes: How is that possible? Where's all the wealth going, then?
Plutarch: Into people's pockets. Pilfering. Got it?

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Mr President, the limousine awaits. If you're ready, we can go now.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Now let's move on. Anna Petrovna, your psychologist.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Sure thing.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Nina Vladimirovna. Anna Petrovna's psychologist.
Vasyl Holoborodko: No surprise there.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: After what Anna Petrovna hears, she herself needs psychological aid.

Mikhail Semenovich: You think he'll change?
Andrei Nikolaevich: I don't think. I know. Even honest folks, when given the chance, like to live at the expense of the state.

Petr Holoborodko: Sweet Jesus! Did you find a sack full of cash? All that for 5,000?
Svetlana Sakhno: Yeah, right. Take your 5,000 back.
Natasha: Get this, Grandpa. Sales everywhere! 100% discounts!

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: We have a bear here. It's white.
Vasyl Holoborodko: White?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: And a grey one, too. Like in that song about two happy bears.
Vasyl Holoborodko: They were geese.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: The geese flew away.
Vasyl Holoborodko: To the south?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: To Russia. To Rostov...

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On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.1

Servant of the People 1×1

Mikhail Semenovich: Gentlemen, aren't you tired of pointlessly wasting money? First, we spend millions to bring our candidates to the political forefront, and then we spend twice as much to ruin our competitors.
Andrei Nikolaevich: Those are the rules. You want to install your own president? Then back him.
Rustem Ashotovich: Let us be honest with each other for once. When somebody talks about honesty, that means they want to take off your last pair of pants. I don't remember who said this, but it was one of the greats.

Mikhail Semenovich: It's one week before the election. We worked hard for our candidates. They're almost neck and neck. Now let the best man win.
Rustem Ashotovich: What good will that bring me?
Andrei Nikolaevich: Rustem Ashotovich, to prove to Mikhail Semenovich, myself, and you personally, who is ultimately king of the castle.
Rustem Ashotovich: Fair enough. Let the people of Ukraine decide who wins... Unsupervised democracy? I like this kind of game. I haven't felt such a rush of adrenaline in a long time.

Petr Holoborodko: Unemployment benefits are higher than a teacher's salary.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Your logic is strange, Dad.
Petr Holoborodko: My logic is strange? You finish school, go to college and then go back to school.

Petr Holoborodko: Your dad isn't a cabbie. Your dad works in the service industry.

Vasyl Holoborodko: I'm sick and tired of all this! Mathematics is valued as a science. That's all very fine. But history, as you said, is dog shit? Then we wonder why our politicians make the same mistakes when they enter the halls of power? Because they're great mathematicians! All they know is to divide and subtract.

Vasyl Holoborodko: All these f**kers vex me! Up to here, got it? Now, damn it, they force the kids to assemble the booths! Why is it a hard knock life? Because our choice begins in a wooden voting booth. You know? And who's there to vote for? It's always the lesser of two assholes and it's been this way for 25 years.

Vasyl Holoborodko: You know what else? Nothing will change again. You know why? Because you, my Dad, me, we'll once again vote for another shitstick! Yeah, because we all know he's an asswipe, but the other person is worse! ... Then these shitsticks enter government. And they loot and talk shit, talk more shit and swindle! Same shit, different day. No one gives a shit! You couldn't give a f**k. Me, not a damn soul! They couldn't care less. No one ever gives two shits at all, for that matter.

Vasyl Holoborodko: If I could have just one week in office, if at all possible, I would show them! F**k the motorcades, f**k the perks, f**k the weekend chalets! F**k it all, damn it. Have a simple teacher live like a president and a president live like a teacher! I tell you this as a teacher of history. But you don't give a flying f**k! Bastards!

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: I understand that this all just came out of the blue. But try to focus, and pull yourself together.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Yeah, I'll try. Where are we going?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: We've got a full day ahead of us. There's a clothes fitting, personal image work, a photo shoot, a meeting with journalists and a press conference.
Vasyl Holoborodko: All that in one day?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Well, preferably, by lunch.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: By the way, which do you like better - a Patek Phillipe or Vacheron Constantin?
Vasyl Holoborodko: I haven't read them. I've absolutely no time.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Patek Phillipe, Vacheron Constantin, Breguet, Hublot... Do you know who wears these?
Vasyl Holoborodko: Who?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Putin.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Putin wears Hublot?

Andrei Nikolaevich: Then who has?
Mikhail Semenovich: In other words, a man ascended to the presidency who isn't under the control of any of us? That's rich.
Rustem Ashotovich: One of us is keeping quiet about this.
Mikhail Semenovich: Perhaps he's a puppet from the West?
Andrei Nikolaevich: Or the Kremlin.

Vasyl Holoborodko: Mother... Give a toast.
Maria Goloborodko: Dear Vasya!
Vasyl Holoborodko: Mom, it's not for me.
Maria Goloborodko: The president's mom is speaking.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Indeed...
Maria Goloborodko: Natasha has a birthday every year.
Natasha: Who needs this anyway? It's only my 18th birthday. Please continue, Grandma.

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On the IMDb