Utopia 2×6

Season Finale

& Mum at airport: It’s just, you know... the environment.
    Terrence: Yes, we should all think of that.
    Mum: I don’t want to sound like a twat, but I just... You know, I do think that we’ve all got a responsibility. I just do.
    Terrence: No, you’re right, we do. We all do. Why did you have him, then?
    Mum: Sorry?
    Terrence: Nothing uses carbon like a first-world human. Yet you created one.
    Mum: Er...
    Terrence: Why? Why would you do that? He will produce 515 tonnes of carbon in his lifetime. That’s 40 trucks’ worth. Having him was the equivalent of nearly 6,500 flights to Paris. You could have flown 90 times a year, there and back, nearly every week of your life, and still not had the same impact on the planet as his birth had.
    Mum: Yeah, but I don’t think...
    Terrence: Not to mention the pesticides, detergents, the huge quantity of plastics, the nuclear fuels used to keep him warm. His birth was a selfish act. It was brutal. You have condemned others to suffering.

& Terrence: In fact, if you really cared... what you’d do is cut his throat open right now.
    Mum: Excuse me?
    Terrence: Or I could do it for you. I could take out my knife, make an incision in his neck, walk away. I’d get my coach over there and you would have done more than your bit for the future of humanity. I could do it now...

& Terrence: I hope he gets over that flu. But maybe he just shouldn’t.

---

& Wilson: Jessica? How’s she?
    Becky: Not good. She hasn’t said a word. She meets her dad for the first time, and he tries to kill her brother. God. Families, eh?

& Becky: Oh, and don’t start calling them «the three», OK? It’s not Lord of the fucking Rings and you’re not a hobbit or a fucking space goblin, right?

& Ian: Nothing.
    Wilson: Piss on his bed.
    Ian: What?!
    Wilson: It needs to look like a burglary. Piss on his bed.

& Wilson: With the new OS, there are glitches, so if he hasn’t... Yes! In through the camera roll... And that is why you should always update immediately.

& Becky: It’s top secret. I even thought to reconstruct it myself, but, er... molecular chemistry’s a tricky fucker.

& Wilson: How could you do that? How could you shoot at people you love?
    Philip: The world’s full of love. Billions of people loving billions of others. All that love will turn to dust when our resources die. I’ve seen what people are capable of when they feel they’re losing everything. Look around. Do you really think we’re so far from that?

& Jessica: He’s going to release the virus now?
    Leah: It would appear so, dear.
    Jessica: Call me «dear» again, and I’ll cut your face off.

& Wilson: She was wrong, Michael. You don’t need a pandemic for people to take the vaccine. You just need the fear of a pandemic...

& Wilson: I promise you, I’ll be better than her.

& Michael: Wilson, Wilson. Wilson. Don’t... don’t do this. Please. This is not you.
    Wilson: No. I don’t think I am me. Not any more.

& Jessica: Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone you love who’s dying? It’s not something that leaves you.

& Philip: It... it’s a rather complex opiate. It’s mildly addictive, somewhere between heroin and caffeine.

--
On the IMDb

Σ So. Season 3 then. This’s great.

Utopia 2×5

& Michael: They search me. They fucking search me. How do I get a phone in there?
    Jessica: Shove it up your arse. No, I’m serious. You have to shove it up your arse. It’s the only way... Don’t use a big one.

& Wilson: They don’t say what denomination. Dollars. Sterling... Euros.
    Geoff: Sterling. It’s sterling. I mean, we’re in England. Of course he wants sterling.
    Wilson: Really? Our highest denomination is the £50 note, one million of which would weigh 24.2kg. 20 million would weigh nearly half a tonne. Now compare that to the 500 euro note, which would be just 45 kilos. He could fit it into a suitcase... If he’s a he.

---

& Grant: It’s fucking stupid!
    Pietre: You shouldn’t swear so much. It’s not good on a child.
    Grant: I’m not a child, you cock... Oh, shit. We gotta kill ’em now.
    Pietre: Just behave and don’t swear.

& Wilson: Your problem is that you want to think that the world is nice, that we can all just get along, co-operate!.. When the fuck have we ever done that?

& Becky: ...and if no-one kills us, then I think we should be fine.

& Philip: Only Roma will be protected.

--
On the IMDb

Utopia 2×4

& Becky: After everyone saying, “Don’t call Milner, don’t call Milner”, you called Milner.
    Ian: It was a mistake!
    Becky: Was it? Was it, Ian? Are you that fucking stupid? Or... are you actually quite fucking smart?

& Ian: Your insults are increasingly cryptic...

& Ian: It’s just fucking psychobabble!
    Becky: It’s not IT any more, is it, Ian? Getting a buzz, are you? Nice little danger bone? Gonna nip off for a little five-finger frou-frou?

& Michael: Jessica... I am not with them.
    Jessica: Michael, don’t worry... if I thought

& Lee: Where is that... Greece? Albania? Yeah... Albania, I reckon. No CCTV, cash-based culture. Yeah. Albania’s where I’d go if I was retiring.

& Lee: Things have changed, Arby. I can’t really tell you why, but we need them. All of them. Right now. It’s very, very important.
    Pietre: ....... Where is Jessica Hyde?

---

& Grant: So, what, Anton’s Jewish, then?
    Becky: I dunno. There were loads of people in the holocaust... he could be any one of them. Hold your hands out... Par bin din zayn rikhtik hant...
    Grant: Yiddish? Ain’t that a bit racist?

& Milner: 2050. That’s when fish stocks run out... do you fucking get that?.. 2080, the end of gas. 2090, the end of oil. Those figures don’t come from Greenpeace or Friends Of The Fucking Earth... they come from BP! If demand for fertiliser increases at current rates, phosphates end this century... and that means no food.
    Wilson: I know! You don’t have to tell me!
    Milner: Do you? Because I don’t think you do. If you really knew, you’d understand that we have no choice. You’re just like Philip. You can’t let go of morality.
Ω Another aproach to Inferno.

& Ian: What’s going on?
    Grant: Becky found a way to speak to Anton. Through Twatface.

& Philip: She said we couldn’t choose. I made an adjustment. I wanted to help evolution, you see. I chose.
    Ian: You mean a race? You chose a race?!
    Philip: I did. Oh, God, I did.
    Ian: And which race did you choose?!?!

& Milner: It’ll be chaos, it will, but in less than 100 years, there will be no more than 500 million people on this planet. We will have created Utopia.

& Milner: Michael! How lovely to see you.

& Jessica: Don’t even fucking blink.

& Grant: When you kill, you don’t feel nothing, do you?
    Pietre: No. For me, it’s like unscrewing a bottle to get to the water.
    Grant: Yeah. And no-one fucks with you.
    Pietre: They do. They just do it differently.

--
On the IMDb

Utopia 2×3

& Lee: It’s me. Um... things have gone a bit awry. ... Yeah. Just one. I dealt with it. ... Well, we could say suicide, but... it’ll be a bit of a stretch. Hold on. .... Yeah, suicide’s not gonna work.

& Pietre: I made breakfast... It’s brown rice with pulses and nuts. It’s healthy.

& Grant: Why are you helping us?
    Pietre: I’m turning over a new leaf.

& Grant: Who the fuck is Jimmy Deeshel?
    Donaldson: No-one. There’s no Jimmy Deeshel. It’s not even a name. I googled it!
    Ian: You googled it? And someone tried to kill you?
    Pietre: I would suggest no-one googles anything from now on.

& Ian: Every second, I missed you. And what do you say when you see me?.. “What the fuck do you want?”
    Becky: Right, well, when you put it like that...

& Pietre: Where is Jessica Hyde?

& Pietre: Who’s Milner?
    Ian: MI5. She was on our side.
    Pietre: There are no sides, just people who help you and people who don’t.

& Jessica: Are you going to co-operate?

---

& Jessica: Are you thinking? Think fast.

& Doctor: No, no, no. Please, please, please... the-the dose, it has to be precise. It’s very strong. Please...
    Jessica: What part of my brain were you going to take again?

& Lee: Oh, look, it’s that one-eyed freak who shot me in my lung.
    Wilson: Yeah, well, if you pull my eye out...
    Lee: Just doing my job... Besides, you got a nice, new pirate-y look out of it. All I got was partial paralysis.

& Lee: Don’t worry, Wilson. We’ll make a great team, you and me. I can do stuff, and you can keep an eye out!

& Lee: What I like about you, Wilson, is the amount of stuff you know. All of it fucking useless.
    Wilson: Knowledge is never useless.

& Lee: It’s not that you can’t take life. I reckon you could take billions. But... it would have to be necessary. Killing me just... isn’t necessary.

& Grant: Was that one bad, the Spanish one?
    Donaldson: It killed 50 million people, Grant. Besides, we ought to be working on the bigger question here, hmm? Who the fuck’s he?

& Lee: That’s all this is about. Bringing you home.

& Jessica: We need to talk...

--
On the IMDb

Utopia 2×2

& Jessica: The Bible. I want to read The Bible.

& Ian: Do you think it’s possible to actually die of boredom?.. Cos I was just going to staple my own tongue. That’s how bored I am. I was going to staple my own fucking tongue in the hope that pain will give me some small reprieve from the tedium... of IT.

& Lee: What is this?
    Pietre: Quinoa. It’s a super-food.
    Lee: Yeah. Super.

& Lee: It’s time to come home now, Arby. And you can never, ever... come back.

---

& Milner: What do you see when you see me?
    Wilson: Milner... Letan, Mr. Rabbit, I dunno.
    Milner: What do you see when you see me?

& Milner: You’re capable of more than you know, Wilson, believe me.

& Donaldson: It’s a long way down, Becky.

& Jessica: Your approach... Your approach is different. You want to get in my head.
    Ross: No. No, I’m not in your head.
    Jessica: I know you’re not. I know you’re not, Ross. I’m in yours.

& Pietre: Those soldiers ... were there to kill him.
    Donaldson: Me?! What the fuck have I done?

--
On the IMDb

Pressing Matters

Utopia 2×1

& Philip @ 1974: ...there are 3,500 species of mosquito. They’ve been around for 100 million years. You think you can just yank them out of existence? I mean, you do realise half the birds in the Arctic tundra will starve to death? I mean, you have actually thought of that or are you just fucking idiots?

& Philip @ 1974: No offence. I’m sure you’re great. But why don’t you just fuck off?
    Milner: Why don’t you make me?

& Philip @ 1974: Let me explain something to you. The sun throws a certain amount of energy onto this planet. We turn it into food, clothing, shelter, et cetera. It supports an amount of us and it took 30,000 years for that amount to become one billion. Then we found a way to use ancient sunlight, sunlight trapped in oil and coal. We started to live off that. What happened? In just 130 years, our population doubled. The next billion took 30 years. The fourth billion has taken just 14. So, here’s the question. What do you think is going to happen when that oil and coal runs out in, say, 100 years? When there’s 10 billion living on a planet that can support only one?..

& Philip @ 1974: Malaria? The only disease that needs curing is us.

& Tom: She loves you, you know?.. Not like that. That she saves for me. With you, it’s... much higher. Brain love. She loves your brain.

---

& The Assistant: The Network lab in Tel Aviv. One of the men worked out the RNA codes for Janus. He has an idea of what it does.
    Milner: Has he told anyone?
    The Assistant: Half the lab, as many as 50 people. We’re not sure exactly who yet, but we have it locked down.
    Milner: Do you have a plane ready?
    The Assistant: TWA 841, heading to JFK. We’ve told them they’re going to be debriefed by the CIA.
    Milner: Well, you know what we have to do, then...

& Milner: We’re making a new world, Philip. We are creating utopia.

& Philip @ 1979: Who are you? ... What do you want?
    Mr. Omida: Pleased to meet you. My name is Mr. Omida. Er... should the time come, I am to be your daughter’s torturer. I’ve been asked to explain my process to you.

& Dr. Isherwood: I’m a Labour voter. I’m a card-carrying member, you fucks! I’ve been on picket lines up and down this country, and I know an MI5 stitch-up when I see one. ... Fucking establishment crypto-fascist bastards. You’re all the same. Terrified of the proletariat.

& The Assistant: We’ve managed to pull some footage of Carvel with Jessica from the close-circuit system. We think that’s the vaccine... and we think Janus is inside it.
    Milner: It’s in her? He put it in Jessica?
Ω Season 1 ep 6

& Christos: OK, Jessica Hyden, let’s teach you how to use a gun.
--
On the IMDb

Σ Interesting facts:
+ TWA 841
+ Three Mile Island accident
+ Vote of no confidence

Utopia 1×6

& Letts: What we have is an approximation. We’re trying it on a test group.
    Becky: And the test group is...?
    Letts: The United Kingdom.

& Jessica: Well, can you get in?
    Wilson: Get in? I am in. It’s UK security. Practically takes your shoes off and makes you a cup of tea. It’s the searchers that are taking their time. I’m having to make myself look like a UFO nutter just to get below the radar, which means I’ve got to check each database individually.
    Jessica: How many databases are there?
    Wilson: 56,000, or thereabouts.

& Michael: Is your name even Anya?

---

& Jessica: We kill them. All of them.
    Becky: Are you serious?
    Jessica: One of them is Mr Rabbit.
    Becky: But six of them aren’t!
    Jessica: It’s called collateral damage.
    Becky: It’s called psychopathy.

& Wilson: There is a future coming where billions of us are going to be born into poverty. And we are going to murder each other in war for water, food and oil. That is coming. Maybe in our lifetime. The Network’s the enemy. But what if the enemy is right?

& Grant: What about Wilson?
    Jessica: What about Wilson?

& Milner / Letan: We’d better get started, you and I. We have so much to do.

--
On the IMDb

Σ It could (ought to) be a season 2...

Utopia 1×5

& Letts: What we are doing is right.
    Becky: Did you... did you say right?
    Letts: Brown people, white people, Jews... I assume you’re referring to Carvel’s supposed paper on eugenics. But Carvel was misunderstood.
    Ian: Yeah, just like Hitler.
    Letts: He wasn’t talking about race, he was talking about survival!

& Letts: We’ve now passed seven billion on this planet. When I was born it was a little over two.

& Letts: The purpose of Janus is to sterilise... The purpose of Janus is to sterilise the entire human race.

& Letts: Janus effects 90-95% of the population, leaving only one in 20 fertile. We predict the population will plateau at 500 million in just under 100 years. By then, normal breeding rates should resume... but on a planet that will feel... empty.
    Ian: You’re fucking insane!
    Letts: To do nothing is insane! You accuse us of being genocidal. Not acting is genocide. Where do you think your food comes from, Ian? A third of the world’s farmland is now useless due to soil degradation, yet we keep producing more mouths to feed. And what’s your answer to that? Energy-saving light bulbs?

& Letts: Do you know the person who had the greatest positive impact on the environment of this planet? Genghis Khan, because he massacred 40 million people. There was no one to farm the land, forests grew back, carbon was dragged out of the atmosphere. And had this ’monster’ not existed, there’d be another billion of us today jostling for space on this dying planet.

---

& Jessica: What now?
    Arby: We talk to the man.
    Jessica: Where?
    Arby: The counter. .... Eggs, beans, chips, sausage, bacon, two toast and a cup of tea. You? ... Twice.

& Arby: I need to go toilet. .... I need to do the other one. .... There might be some noises.

& Wilson: You’re right. It’s better than genocide.

& Arby: Have you got your seat belt on?

& Arby: This is called tonalite gneiss. It’s the oldest rock in the world. From a rock plateau in Canada... He used to say, “This rock gives you permission to do anything, because, ultimately, we’re all just the blink of an eye.”

& Becky: It sterilises people, d’you know that? And you just want to make money from it!
    Donaldson: “Just make money”? Did you say, “Just make money”? If they do this, it’s social and economic Armageddon. What d’you think it’ll be like getting old if there are no young people to pay for it? Do you think there’ll be pension plans, healthcare, free fucking bus passes? In the future, if you’re old, you’re dead, unless you have wealth.

& Geoff: No, I don’t think I can...
    Assistant: Yes, of course you can. You see, it’s an order. I’m giving you an order.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Utopia 1×4

& Michael: But people died, SARS was...
    Prof. Donaldson: Started in November 2002. It lasted precisely seven months, by summer 2003 it no longer existed. The “pandemic” affected just 8,422 people and killed 916. Do you know how many people die each year from random respiratory problems? SARS did not exist. Next question — why did they do it? Answer — I don’t fucking know.

    Prof. Donaldson: All I know was within the next few weeks I was embroiled in a sex scandal... Professor Pervert — addicted to coke and prostitutes.
    Michael: So did they just set you up?
    Donaldson: Yes... Well, no... I do like cocaine and prostitutes, but they didn’t have to tell anyone.

& Ian: If they were tapping her phone, you’ve just killed her.
    Jessica: You still think so small, Ian. So... IT.

---

& Ian: How... how do you know...?
    Milner: I’m a spy. It’s, sort of, the point of what I do.

& Becky: So she kissed you? On the mouth? Did you kiss her back?
    Ian: Becky, she had a gun to my head!
    Becky: Did you enjoy it? Well, I suppose she’s attractive. In a kind of skinny-bitch, evil, murderess kind of way.

& Ian: Which one of us?
    Wilson: He’s an old white dude? Who’s he gonna be more scared of?
    Ian: You look like a psycho pirate.
    Wilson: Yeah...

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Utopia 1×3

& Becky: What’s it like?
    Grant: It’s... not what I thought. I mean, I thought part two, it’d be like a new story. But it ain’t. It’s the same, just... just different.

& Jessica: Don’t you get it yet? That is nothing to them. Death is part of it. Get used to it.

& Jessica: I learned not to trust people, because you know what? People always let you down.

---

& Ian: It’s MI5, not ASDA! We’re better off hacking into the HMG network and sending her an intranet mail. I work with computers, I know...
    Wilson: You’re an IT consultant, Ian. If I want to know how to make a printer work, I’ll let you know.

& Milner: They tortured him and, as a lesson to others, the boss carved his own name into this man’s stomach. Rabbit. Have you ever seen the Chinese character for “rabbit”, Ian? Lots of lines, lots of cuts.

& Grant: I look mental. Like a fucking Goth.

--
On the IMDb

Utopia 1×2

& Jessica Hyde: My name is Jessica Hyde. Come with me now or you’ll all die.

& Jessica: Here. Diamorphine.
    Becky: What, heroin?
    Jessica: It’s a painkiller. Do for now.

& Jessica: You look good. Should wear that colour more often. You look shit. But in a good way.

& Ian: This is insane! Yesterday I was arrested for a sex crime, today I’m on the run from ex-government nutters who want to pull out my eyes. I’m a fucking IT consultant.

& Jessica: Have everything by the back door, always be ready to leave within 60 seconds.
    Becky: What if you’re in the bath?
    Jessica: No baths, no showers. It’s time to stop worrying about looking pretty, Becky.

& Becky: “Back soon, don’t have a bath.”?

---

& Jessica: Ah, shit. Glock 22. She’s CIA.

& Jessica: She knows next to fucking nothing. That’s how they work. They have people high up who get their drones to do their work for them.

& — You’re not agency. Who are you?
    Arby: No. I’m not agency. I’m a specialist.

& Wilson: Say to meet at the Embassy. Dane based the Embassy on the Taunton building on the Kame Hill Estate. Only a real twat would know that. And me.
    Becky: Never deny your inner twat, Wilson. It’s part of your charm.

& Ian: He’s on our side, isn’t he?
    Jessica: There’s no sides. Just people who help you and people who don’t.

& Wilson: And, Becky, be careful. Grant’s a city trader. He’s bound to be a cock.

& Wilson: Bloody hell, you sound about ten.
    Becky: Close. He’s 11.
    Wilson: What? Really? You said you owned a Porsche and that your girlfriend was a supermodel.
    Grant: Yeah, I’ve got ambitions.

--
On the IMDb

Utopia 1×1

& Arby: Where is Jessica Hyde?

& Becky: His name was Mark Dane. He was a delusional paranoid schizophrenic.

& Becky: Look, are you going to fucking fund this or what?! I mean, look at you! I’ve had a look at your website. You’ve got people doing PhDs in... Star Wars and Doctor fucking Who!

& Wilson: Funny, seeing each other like this. I didn’t expect you to be pretty, Becky.
    Becky: Thank you, Wilson... I think.
    Wilson: And you, Ian, I didn’t expect you to be...
    Ian: Tall?
    Wilson: No, black.

& Becky: What do you do?
    Ian: Well, think of the least interesting thing you can think of.
    Becky: IT. ... Oh, no fucking way!
    Ian: Way fucking way.

& Ian: So Wilson Wilson’s your real name?
    Becky: What did you use all this stuff for?
    Wilson: Expunging all trace of myself from the World Wide Web. I have, over the past five years, using various international laws, data protection acts and internet know-how, wiped all trace of me from the world. No bank account, no bills, driver’s licence, nothing. Every IP address here is masked and encrypted to avoid detection. I’m invisible.
    Ian: You do know... you’ve used your real name on our forum, right?
    Wilson: Who’d believe that’s a real name?

---

& Wilson: I can lower my heart rate, pick locks and, if I was handcuffed to a radiator, I could escape by dislocating both my thumbs.
    Ian: Why?
    Wilson: Look out your window, Ian. When the shit hits, Wilson Wilson will not...

& Wilson: Do you want to see my nuclear fallout shelter?

& Reynolds: Are you OK? Would you like some tea?
    Wilson: I don’t drink tea. Caffeine was invented by the CIA.

& Torturer: Most torturers tend to have their favourite areas of the body to work on. Genitals, teeth... soles of the feet. With me... it’s the eyes. Chillies... sand... bleach... A spoon.

& Torturer: I’m going to rub chillies into your eyes, then sand, then bleach. Then... I’m going to use the spoon. Do you know what I do with the spoon?
    Arby: Where is Jessica Hyde?

& Jessica Hyde: Hello. I’m Jessica Hyde.

--
On the IMDb