Middle Ground

The Wire 3×11

Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: We're to hold off on any action in Hamsterdam. No arrests, no movement until further notice. He says he wants to regroup, determine the most effective course of action.
Deputy Commissioner for Operations William A. Rawls: Translate that for me, will you, Erv? I don't speak his fucked-up lingo.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: Royce is figuring a way to put all of us in the guillotine and keep the blood from spraying anywhere near the Hall... Shit, I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna go out like that.

Maurice 'Maury' Levy: This is an old game in this town. And Clay Davis? That ganef was born with his hand in someone's pocket. I just wish you'd run it by me sooner...

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: McNulty, Major Crimes.
Sullivan: Sullivan, minor irritations.

Russell 'Stringer' Bell: That nigger took our money, man.
Avon Barksdale: I seen it coming.
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Well, he got to go.
Avon Barksdale: You a fucking businessman. Handle it like that. You don't wanna get all gangster wild with it and shit, right? What I tell you about playing them fucking away games? Yeah... They saw your ghetto ass coming from miles away, nigger. You got a fucking beef with them? That shit is on you.

Avon Barksdale: How can we fix it? You want money?
Brother Mouzone: Money?
Avon Barksdale: Yeah, this is business.
Brother Mouzone: Business is where you are now. But what got you here is your word and your reputation. With that alone, you've still got an open line to New York. Without it, you're done.

Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: You see that building there? It was the old Stryker building, it was a funeral parlor. The last stop before the cemetery for West Side white folk back when there were still some around. Right about the time that Jim Crow was breaking up back in the early '60s, somebody asked old man Stryker, they said, "Stryker, you gonna change your policy and start burying black folk?" And Stryker said, "Yeah, on one condition... That I can do them all at once."
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: That's sick.
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: But you know something? I had a lot of respect for that man. 'Cause, unlike most folks, I always knew where he stood.

Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: Look, I done showed you the good. Come on, let me show you the ugly.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: How come so quick?
FBI Spec. Agent Terrance 'Fitz' Fitzhugh: Stringer Bell's given name?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Russell.
FBI Spec. Agent Terrance 'Fitz' Fitzhugh: For now, Ahmed.

Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: How did you make this happen?
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: I just did it. I got tired of hearing folks talk about what needed to be done or what they would do if it was up to them.
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: So, this is about you making a mark?
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: No, I ain't analyzed it all that deep. I ain't claiming no kind of victory, neither. I will say I'm glad I tried.

Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Man, it's a shame we got to deal with this Marlo bullshit, man. If I had taken care of that earlier, man...
Avon Barksdale: There's always gonna be a Marlo, man. No Marlo, no game.

Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Imagine, if I had the money that I have now, I could have bought half this waterfront property. God damn it.
Avon Barksdale: Forget about that for a while, man. You know, just dream with me.
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: We ain't gotta dream no more, man. We got real shit, real estate, that we can touch.

Avon Barksdale: You need to relax more, man.
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Well, when the time is right, I will. You know, I don't take my work too seriously.
Avon Barksdale: That's right. It's just business... Us, motherfucker.
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Us, man.

Omar Little: You still don't get it, do you?
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Huh?
Omar Little: This ain't about your money, bro. Your boy gave you up.
Brother Mouzone: That's right. And we ain't had to torture his ass, neither.

—
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Broke

The Office 5×23

Ryan Howard: We've been making 5:00 a.m. deliveries for a couple weeks now. Ever since I've gotten clean, there's something about fresh morning air that just really makes me sick.

Charles Miner: In the last month, we have lost 10 major clients to Michael Scott.
Stanley Hudson: What are we supposed to do? They keep undercutting us on price.
Charles Miner: I don't want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. This is unacceptable.
Andy Bernard: Hey, boss, I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.
Charles Miner: Why are you telling me this?
Andy Bernard: I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Charles Miner: Is that something you really want to have said?
Andy Bernard: ... I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.

Pam Beesly: When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don't blame the child. He didn't know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, "Drive, kid. I trust you."

Michael Scott: Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died?
Pam Beesly: Steve Martin's not dead, Michael.
Michael Scott: I know. But I always thought that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. And I was wrong. It's this.

Pam Beesly: You want to hear something sad?
Michael Scott: I would love that.
Pam Beesly: So Jim and I are getting married, and the wedding's really expensive, so I tried to get a job on the weekends to earn extra money. I applied to Old Navy, Target and Walmart. None of them called me back. Not even for an interview.

Michael Scott: Yes. These are our demands. This is what we want. Our balls are in your court.

Michael Scott: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he's born, the day he grows hair, the day he starts a business, and the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin.

Michael Scott: What have I learned from all of this? It is far too early to tell. I just know that I am flying high, and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.

—
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Chapter Seven: The Massacre at Hawkins Lab

Stranger Things 4×7

Robin Buckley: Are you okay?
Steve Harrington: Well, they took about a pound of flesh. But other than that, yeah, never better.

Dr. Sam Owens: I know you're frightened. You're terribly frightened by what you've seen. But it's this very fear that's now holding you back. If you want Nina to succeed, you cannot hide from the truth, no matter how frightening it may be.

Eleven: I saw what I did. I am a monster.
Dr. Sam Owens: You speak of monsters, superheroes. That's the stuff of myth and fairy tales. Reality, truth, is rarely so simple. People are not so easily defined. Only by facing all of ourselves, the good and the bad, can we become whole.
Eleven: What if I don't wanna become whole?
Dr. Sam Owens: Then that is a choice. Your choice. The door is always open.

Eddie Munson: So, uh, this place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?
Nancy Wheeler: Pretty much.

Jim Hopper: We'd die as monster slayers. You'll be a legend.
Dmitri Antonov: But still a traitor. You forgot traitor.
Jim Hopper: Monster slayer trumps traitor.

Jim Hopper: The last time I was with El, she wanted just about nothing to do with me. I was just in her way, really. I think back to the way I was with my dad at that age. I was the same way. The exact same way... I think it must be hardwired into us to reject our fathers. So we can grow and move on. Become something of our own.

Dustin Henderson: Hey, uh, remember when I said they wouldn't be stupid enough to go through Watergate?
Lucas Sinclair: Yeah?
Dustin Henderson: I overestimated them.

Joyce Byers: Where is he? What have you done with Hopper, you vile commie pig?!

One: You see, humans are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a structure of their own. A deeply unnatural structure. Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules.
     Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day.

--
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Reformation

The Wire 3×10

Joseph 'Proposition Joe' Stewart: Stir up a hornet's nest, no telling who gonna get stung.

Lamarr: What happened to all them towers?
Brother Mouzone: Slow train coming.
Lamarr: Huh?
Brother Mouzone: Reform, Lamar. Reform.

Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: You call something a war, and pretty soon everybody gonna be acting like warriors running around on a crusade, storming corners, slapping on cuffs, racking up body counts. And when you at war, you need a fucking enemy. And pretty soon, damn near everybody on every corner is your fucking enemy. And soon the neighborhood you police, that's just occupied territory. You follow this?
Det. Ellis Carver: I think so.
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: Look here, the point I'm making, Carver, is this. Soldiering and policing, ain't the same thing. And before we went and took the wrong turn and started up with these war games, the cop walked a beat, and he learned that post. And if things happened up on that post, whether they be a rape or robbery or shooting, he had people out there helping him, feeding him information. But every time I come to you, my DEU Sergeant, for information, to find out what's going on out there in them streets, all that came back was some bullshit. You had your stats, your arrests, your seizures. But that don't amount to shit when you talking about protecting the neighborhood, now, do it? You know the worst thing about this... so-called drug war, to my mind... It just... It ruined this job.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: We drew Phelan on this wiretap? That two-faced hack sold me out last time.
A.S.A. Rhonda Pearlman: He's not running for a new term. He'll be fine.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: He's a piece of shit.
Lt. Cedric Daniels: We're all pieces of shit when we're in your way. That goes with the territory.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: .... Point taken.

Joseph 'Proposition Joe' Stewart: Now hear me on this, String, we ain't no ingrates. We all recognize your contribute to the co-op. But the feeling is this. It ain't right for you to be at the head of our table when you can't call off your dog. Call it a crisis of leadership.

Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: If I level with Tony and he gets out, then I can't win. I need him in the race. I feel like shit. I really do.

Judge Daniel Phelan: You wanna sell drug traffickers cellphones that are pre-approved for telephonic intercepts. And you want me to sign off on court-ordered taps on phones that, at the time I'm signing the order, have not been used for any illegal activity whatsoever.
A.S.A. Rhonda Pearlman: If you're looking for precedents, Your Honor, there aren't any. It's circumstantial PC at best...
Judge Daniel Phelan: What the hell, let's do it.

Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: I pushed all street-level dealing towards those areas. Now, at first, dealing with the juveniles on them corners, I had little success. But ultimately, by rounding up all the mid-level dealers in my district, and making them an offer they couldn't refuse, I...
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: You made them an offer?

Deputy Commissioner for Operations William A. Rawls: You nit, don't you see what he's done? He's legalized drugs!
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: Actually, I elected to ignore them.
Acting Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell: You lost your fucking mind.
Deputy Commissioner for Operations William A. Rawls: He's lost his fucking mind.

Deputy Commissioner for Operations William A. Rawls: You cocksucker, I gotta give it to you! A brilliant idea! Insane and illegal, but stone-fucking brilliant, nonetheless. After putting my foot up people's asses to decrease the numbers, he comes in and, in one stroke, gets a fucking 14% decrease. Fucking shame it's gonna end our careers, but still...

—
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No One Wants an Argument About Reality

Avenue 5 2×1

Elena: The chicken's good. It's not bad, is it?
Ryan Clark: Yeah. When you think that it's just reconstituted eel protein, it's actually-- it's actually all right.
Elena: But are the portions getting smaller?
Ryan Clark: No, I think you're just eating it from farther away, so it looks...

Ryan Clark: Because I am captain... anything I say is automatically seductive. Pass the salt...

Matt Spencer: Hey, Ryan, this is just your daily reminder to tell the passengers that they're gonna be stuck on this elegant space finger for nearly a decade.

Matt Spencer: You have to tell the truth, Ryan. Should I use a more aggressive tack? Because I find that British people often respond better to abuse than encouragement.
Ryan Clark: Now, look, Matt, you telling me that my breath smells like a cat's back passage is not gonna make me tell them any quicker.

Ryan Clark: ...if I tell the passengers that we are stuck up here for another eight years and the food is running out, I'm gonna become the next all-you-can-eat buffet.

Spike Martin: Ryan, it's time to retract your head from your ass. Don't be afraid of the truth.
Ryan Clark: I'm not afraid of the truth! I'm just afraid of it leaving my lips.

Herman Judd: Well, the good news is, is we only have to deal with four more weeks of that. I mean, Captain Ryan would've told us if the trip is gonna be any longer. Unless he has a good reason not to, which he doesn't. Not that I'd know.

Devon: Isn't this your ship?
Herman Judd: Ship... Yeah, name only. You know, you could just as easily blame Martin Luther King for king-sized beds.
Mads: Blame him for kings.
Herman Judd: Or kings.
Mads: Or sizes.

Rav Mulcair: And so... The passengers will be split into two groups. The first group... the Guaranteed... will be fed. The second group will be given a chance to...

Ryan Clark: That's it? That's your plan? That we turn half the passengers into a screaming, underfloor heating system?

Herman Judd: I have a question. What the fuck?

Matt Spencer: Look, is it not better that half of us die quickly than that all of us starve slowly, just to play devil's advocate?

Spike Martin: You're gonna have to tell them we're not going home in a month, Ryan.
Ryan Clark: Not going to do it. You can't make me tell them. I'm going to go and gargle some bleach now, so my voice box packs in.
Billie McEvoy: No, that will actually kill you.
Ryan Clark: Added bonus.

Rav Mulcair: I mean, you can only work with the options you're given. Mass death or selective death. There's no vegan option. I'm sorry.

Billie McEvoy: Really? You're gonna do it? You-- You-- You're gonna tell them?
Ryan Clark: I am resisting with every fiber of my being, which is how I know it's the right thing to do.

Frank Kelly: I was protecting her. It's like, you know, sometimes the best way of protecting someone is by subjugating them.

Matt Spencer: Okay, but, Frank, the vow is "to have and to hold," right? Not "hold hostage."
Rav Mulcair: It's always the quiet ones...

Billie McEvoy: No, no, no. Come on. You're gonna be great. You want to rehearse the whole thing with me?
Ryan Clark: No thanks. You don't rehearse expelling kidney stones. No, I just, I've got to go in there and just do it.

Devon: What's the maximum speed of this craft?
Herman Judd: Good question. What a good question. And one I wish I could answer, but I feel like it would be culturally insensitive to our captain, Captain Ryan, who is in charge of this ship and this voyage and any changes that happen to the voyage that cannot be known by us, or specifically by me.

Karen Kelly: Ryan, is it true? That nobody knows we're here for eight years?
Ryan Clark: See, I-- I thought I was doing the passengers a service. They've had five months in a state of blissful ignorance.

Ryan Clark: Ladies and gentlemen, I do have an announcement. It appears that we may not be returning to Earth for a considerable number of months.

Billie McEvoy: We're heading towards the Sun!

Ryan Clark: Look, look, whatever-- whatever happens, I promise you everything will be okay--

Iris Kimura: Hello, Avenue 5! This is mission control. Comms are back up. Is everything okay?
Ryan Clark: Yeah. Everything's fine. Just one small issue...
Iris Kimura: Okay. Everyone here has your best interests at heart. Mission control. Families. The list is endless.

--
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New Day

The White Lotus 1×2

Nicole Mossbacher: I just think it's funny that I'm a role model to strangers. But...
Olivia Mossbacher: But what?
Nicole Mossbacher: Most people admire people who achieve things, but you somehow look at it as if it's a personality disorder.
Olivia Mossbacher: Making shit happen all the time is a compulsion. It staves off feelings of emptiness. Or whatever. The real question is, what exactly are you getting done? Putin is an overachiever. He's impressive, also evil.
Mark Mossbacher: Liv, your mother is not Putin.
Nicole Mossbacher: Thank you.
Mark Mossbacher: Yeah. She runs one of the most profitable search engines in America. And she's made it as a woman in a male-dominated culture. It's very cool.
Olivia Mossbacher: And her company is a part of the unraveling of the social fabric. Should I be rooting for that just because it's run by a woman?
Nicole Mossbacher: No, you should be rooting for that because it's your mother.

Shane Patton: How about this? Whatever they're paying you, I'll double it. You can get paid to have fun on your honeymoon, with me.

Belinda: I do think that there's a purpose in helping even rich people, you know? Helping them to find healing, making them feel more present, more aware... Because rich people, they're the ones that, you know... are fucking up the whole world.
Tanya MacQuoid: Yeah. I mean, I know a lot of rich, white, fucked up people. They could really use you.

Mark Mossbacher: Uh... This may be a little cheesy. But, um, I just wanted to say... that I had a little health scare... and it turned out to be a real blessing, because it's the kind of thing that gives you a new perspective on life and... and how lucky we all are. And when you really think about it, I mean... we have no problems. We've got food to eat, family, we're healthy and alive. And when you think about how...
Rachel Patton: That-- that family... is so obnoxious. The mother is a bitch. And the daughter is a bitch also.
Mark Mossbacher: Never take anything for granted. It's also a reminder to look at things in a new way, and if you do, then, like, every day can be a new day, right? And if it is... it's like you're al-- you're always being born into life... like, all the time. You're not stuck... decaying or dying. Anyway, that's just what I was thinking about. I just wanna share it and... just... I love you guys.
Nicole Mossbacher: That's so sweet, honey.

—
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Heavy Competition

The Office 5×22

Pam Beesly: Turns out there's no limit to the number of cheese puffs you can throw at someone's face... We're getting pretty good at it.

Jim Halpert: Andy put down a bunch of deposits on stuff for his wedding with Angela, but then she was sleeping with Dwight for... ... Anyway, now we are going bargain hunting in the haunted graveyard of their love.

Phyllis Lapin: What's wrong with you?
Dwight Schrute: These sleeves are cutting off my circulation. There's not enough blood getting to my hands.
Phyllis Lapin: I think you look nice.
Dwight Schrute: Doesn't Charles know he's compromising my attack readiness? It's not a dress code. It's a death sentence...
Charles Miner: Looking good.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, thank you. ... It's a straightjacket!

Dwight Schrute: When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland. There was just a lot going on. So what you wore to work was the least of anybody's worries. And in that chaos, I soared.

Dwight Schrute: Thanks, Michael, we... What is this?
Michael Scott: It's for your trouble.
Dwight Schrute: I don't need $6 to help a friend.
Michael Scott: No, no, listen, as a friend, I want you to have it.
Dwight Schrute: You know I can't take this.
Michael Scott: Yes, I do.
Dwight Schrute: But don't forget, you owe me $10.
Michael Scott: That was four years ago. Why don't you let it go?

Andy Bernard: It scares me to see you going down a road that I went down.
Jim Halpert: Am I going down a road?
Andy Bernard: When I see her bossing you around like that, it just makes me wonder if this thing really has the legs to go the distance.
Jim Halpert: It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, so of course I trust your opinion on this.
Andy Bernard: I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.

Charles Miner: Michael, I want you to stop pestering my salesman and I want you to leave Dunder Mifflin alone. Do you understand?
Michael Scott: I understand nothing.

Michael Scott: It was a setup!
Pam Beesly: Tell us what you're talking about.
Michael Scott: It's like a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.
Pam Beesly: We can't help you if you don't just tell us what happened.
Michael Scott: I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, okay? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel? I don't know! Is that clear enough for you?

Michael Scott: I color-code all my info. I wrote "gay son" in green. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means, "Orange you glad you didn't bring it up?" Most colors mean, "Don't say it."
Dwight Schrute: How is Tom, the homosexual sophomore?

—
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Batman: Gotham by Gaslight (2018)

Batman: Don't be alarmed.
James Gordon: So says the man dressed up like a bat.

Harvey Dent: Bruce, I'm in love.
Bruce Wayne: Well, that's great news, Harvey. I'm sure your wife will be glad to hear it.
Harvey Dent: Oh, please, Bruce. This is the 19th century. Don't be such a dinosaur. Marriage is more like a business arrangement.

Alfred Pennyworth: I've laid out your mourning clothes.
Bruce Wayne: I have my own manner of mourning.
Alfred Pennyworth: Revenge.
Bruce Wayne: Her blood cries out for it.
Alfred Pennyworth: Does it, sir? "Beloved, avenge not yourselves, vengeance is mine. I will repay," sayeth the Lord. She wouldn't want you to be alone right now.
Bruce Wayne: It's how I work best, Alfred.

Selina Kyle: Your friend? You think one of your friends is framing you?
Bruce Wayne: One of my mentors says that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

—
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The Mandalorian. Chapter 24: The Return

The Mandalorian 3×8

The Mandalorian: We can't keep running.If we don't take out Moff Gideon, this will never end.

The Mandalorian: Sorry, I don't speak Binary. I'm counting on you.

Bo-Katan Kryze: Let's take back our planet.

Moff Gideon: Bo-Katan Kryze... What's it gonna be this time? Surrender or fight?

Moff Gideon: Mandalorians are weak once they lose their trinkets.
Bo-Katan Kryze: Mandalorians are stronger together.

The Mandalorian: Grogu is my apprentice. He is no longer a foundling. Add him to the Song.

The Mandalorian: If his parent gave permission, couldn't he then become a Mandalorian apprentice?
The Armorer: Yes, but his parents are far from here, if they are even alive...
The Mandalorian: Then I will adopt him as my own.

The Armorer: Let it be written in Song that Din Djarin is accepting this foundling as his son. You are now Din Grogu, Mandalorian apprentice.
— "This is the Way."

Captain Carson Teva: Let me get this straight. You want to work for the New Republic.
The Mandalorian: On a case-by-case basis. An independent contractor.

IG-11: Greetings, citizens. I am IG-11, your new Marshal. Your new Marshal of Nevarro. I am here to serve and protect the citizenry. I am at your disposal and serve at your pleasure.

—
On the IMDb

Slapstick

The Wire 3×9

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: On a Sunday? What the fuck, Lester?
Det. Lester Freamon: Could say the same of you.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Elena's taken the kids to her mother's, what the fuck else am I gonna do? No life, no marriage, no kids... No problem.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: I do believe there aren't five swinging dicks in this entire department can do what we do. I'm not saying all chest-out and shit. It's just... I mean, you think about it, there's maybe, what, 3,000 sworn, right? Hundred or so are bosses, so there's not a fucking clue there. Few more hundred is sergeants and lieutenants, most of them wanna be bosses. Then there's 600 or 700 fucking housecats, you know, deskmen. The patrol division? There's probably a little bit of talent there but the way the city is right now, that's 1,500 guys chasing calls and clearing corners. I mean, nobody's knowing his post, nobody's building nothing, right? CID's the same, catching calls, chasing quick clearances, keeping everything in the shallow end. I mean, who is there out there can do what we can do with a case? How many are there really? Don Worden, Ed Burns, Gary Childs out in the county, John O'Neil and Steve Cleary over at Woodlawn. Oh, they bring it in, but there's not many. There's not many... We're good at this, Lester. In this town, we're as good as it gets.
Det. Lester Freamon: Natural police.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Fuck, yes, natural police.

Det. Lester Freamon: Tell me something, Jimmy. How exactly do you think it all ends?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: What do you mean?
Det. Lester Freamon: A parade? A golden watch? A shining Jimmy-McNulty-Day moment when you bring in a case so sweet everybody says, "Aw, shit, he was right all along. We should have listened to the man." The job will not save you, Jimmy. It won't make you whole, it won't fill your ass up.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: I don't know. A good case...
Det. Lester Freamon: Ends. They all end. The handcuffs go click and it's over. And the next morning it's just you in your room with yourself.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Until the next case.
Det. Lester Freamon: Boy, you need something outside of this here.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Like what? Dollhouse miniatures?

Avon Barksdale: On a Sunday morning?
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Yo, I don't give a fuck, man. I hear that name, I ain't thinking about a church day.
Avon Barksdale: The Sunday truce has been around as long as the game itself, man... You can do some shit and be, like, "What the fuck?" But just never on no Sunday.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: You do the cookie first?
Det. Roland 'Prez' Pryzbylewski: What's the difference?... "A new friend makes himself known."
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: "Himself?" If it was "herself," then you'd have a fortune.

Lt. Cedric Daniels: Everyone knows you had no intention of... But administratively, you need to be careful because of the racial thing. You see that, right? There's gonna be people in the department who see this that way. You see that, right?
Det. Roland 'Prez' Pryzbylewski: I wasn't scared, I wasn't angry. I didn't give a shit he was black or whatever... Or maybe I did. How the fuck do you know if that's in your head or not?

Brianna Barksdale: The cop said it was someone who didn't want you to know and so they made it look like it did?
Avon Barksdale: Nobody did nothing.
Brianna Barksdale: But the cop said...
Avon Barksdale: He's lying. He paid to lie.

Theresa D'Agostino: I went to UM Law so I still have connections there. I grew up in Homeland.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Yeah? Lauraville for me.
Theresa D'Agostino: Where did you go to college?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Loyola. Only one year. My girlfriend got pregnant, so...
Theresa D'Agostino: So?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: So, uh...
Theresa D'Agostino: So you became a cop in Baltimore. How's that working for you?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: It's pretty good. You know. I do a lot of high-end drug stuff. Wiretaps. Prolonged investigations of violent offenders, that kind of stuff... There's not a lot of guys in the department can do that kind of thing. It takes a certain... I don't know, you gotta love it. Thrill of the chase and all that.

Theresa D'Agostino: Who did you vote for this time?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: What, you mean Bush and whatshisname?
Theresa D'Agostino: Kerry. You didn't vote for president?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: I thought about it and you know... Bush seemed way over his head, I know, but he wasn't gonna win in Maryland anyhow. Besides, these guys, it doesn't matter who you got. None of them has a clue what's really going on. Where I'm working every day, the only way any of them will even find West Baltimore is if, I don't know, Air Force One crash-lands into Monroe Street on its way back to Andrews. It just never connects... Not to what I see, anyway... Hey, that's just me, though.

—
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Michael Scott Paper Company

The Office 5×21

Michael Scott: It's Britney, bitch, and I am back in the form of a new company, the Michael Scott Paper Company.

Michael Scott: They took away my parking space, but they can't take away my pride.

Pam Beesly: I make that one copy and I become the girl who makes copies. And by the end of the day, I'm receptionist again... And the worst part is I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff... And it's cold in there, because it's technically a closet.

Michael Scott: They're getting on my nerves, Mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here and P is not as much fun without Jim.
Pam Beesly: Michael, we can hear you.
Michael Scott: I'm on the phone, please! Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. P's being a giant B.

Michael Scott: They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and they are right. So, I hired my best friends...

Michael Scott: Okay. There are four corners in this room. Each corner is to be a personal space for each one of you. Whichever corner you want, and make it your own.

Creed Bratton: These are terrible, boss. You got to make them in a circle, so that they cook evenly.
Michael Scott: They're shaped like paper.
Creed Bratton: Well, I don't even want these.
Meredith Palmer: I'll take them for my kid.

Michael Scott: I once had a dream that I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich, and let me tell you something, it was delicious. So, the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting.
Pam Beesly: It is a disgusting sandwich.
Michael Scott: And the reason I tell you this story...

Michael Scott: Give him a guarantee.
Pam Beesly: A guarantee of what?
Michael Scott: Just say the word.
Pam Beesly: And I guarantee that you will be satisfied, because your satisfaction is our guarantee. We guarantee it.

Pam Beesly: Yes! I made a sale!

Michael Scott: Who would have thought that the thing that would save this company would be work?... And pancakes.

Michael Scott: I realize that we don't have the biggest office, which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot. But we have people with the biggest hearts, and I think for a small company, that is really...
Pam Beesly: Someone went to the bathroom.
Michael Scott: That is really what's important.

—
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Chapter Six: The Dive

Stranger Things 4×6

Jason Carver: How do you expect to stop the devil if you don't believe he's real?

Joyce Byers: We are truly in hell if hell froze over.

Jim Hopper: You know why they feed captive predators live prey? Because if they don't, the predator gets bored and it stops eating. It needs the thrill of the hunt. We're not here to train this monster with swords and axes. We're here to entertain it. And this food… This food isn't to make us strong. It's to, uh, make us plump. So we're full of the nutrients and protein that a growing monster might need. So eat up, boys. Enjoy. This is your last meal.

Dustin Henderson: What say you, Eddie the Banished?
Eddie Munson: I say you're asking me to follow you into Mordor, which, if I'm totally straight with you, I think is a really bad idea. But, uh, the Shire… The Shire is burning. So Mordor it is.
Steve Harrington: What is Mordor?

Yuri: Ah, I see now. I bring you in as prisoners and then set you free inside walls. It is risky, crazy, you will still probably die, yet I like it.

Dustin Henderson: You guys realize, if there's a gate down there, it's technically a water gate. Watergate.

--
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A Stolen Truck and Going on the Lam

Young Sheldon 6×16

Sheldon: Dad, wake up. There's a problem.
George: What?! What's wrong?
Sheldon: It's Saturday morning and no one's cooking bacon.

George: Okay... I'll make your stupid bacon, happy?
Sheldon: I've been better.

Sheldon: You know, there's a more spatially efficient way to do that.
George: It's good enough.
Sheldon: Is that what you tell your football players?
George: I make them run laps. That what you want?
Sheldon: You're funny. I like our weekends together.

Sheldon: Huh, your truck's gone and she's gone? What are the odds of that?
George: She took my truck, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, more chaos. Got it.

Georgie: I can't believe that girl. Did she even think about how worried we'd all be?
Meemaw: Wow, you became a dad fast.
Georgie: Well, it just kicks in.

Paige: We need to get our stories straight. We're cousins, you're 16, you forgot your license at home, and we're on our way to the hospital to visit our grandma.
Missy: Okay... I'm only 13, I stole my dad's truck and we didn't pay for breakfast at the diner. We just left.
Officer Larson: Okay. And who's this?
Missy: My cousin, Ginger.

Sheldon: Where did I go wrong?
Meemaw: You tried to predict a teenage girl.
Sheldon: Perhaps when she gets back we can take her in for a brain scan.
Meemaw: Maybe what Missy needs is for us all to be a little understanding.
Sheldon: I'm trying to understand. That's why I need the brain scan.

Meemaw: Look, your sister's going through a lot these days. She's feeling overlooked, confused, angry, sad.
Sheldon: She's feeling all those things at once?
Meemaw: Yeah.
Sheldon: And I can't scan her brain? That is so unfair.

Adult Sheldon: This marked the beginning of what our family would come to call "Missy's difficult period." Despite my repeated assurances that I could solve the problem with a brain scan and some low-voltage electric shocks, I was never given the opportunity. Such a shame...

--
On the IMDb
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Moral Midgetry

The Wire 3×8

Sapper: Goddamn! Can't you ever get a fucking police around here when you need one?

Det. Lester Freamon: They're driving 200 miles every couple of weeks out of sheer caution.
Lt. Cedric Daniels: It's beautiful.
Det. Lester Freamon: Yeah...
Det. Roland 'Prez' Pryzbylewski: What is?
Det. Lester Freamon: Mm-hm. The discipline of it.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Fredericksburg? Going all that way to buy cellphones?
Det. Roland 'Prez' Pryzbylewski: One here, two there. No wholesale purchases.
Det. Lester Freamon: They've been dumping phones every two weeks or so and still they're worried about catching a wiretap. Just 'cause you're paranoid doesn't mean someone's not out to get you, right?

State Sen. R. Clayton 'Clay' Davis: I'm gonna bring you along, String, but it ain't gonna be an overnight thing. We spend this year dealing with the city, the next doing business with the state. However, year three... then we go for the gold, then we go federal. Then we see the man with his hand on the faucet.
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: What faucet?
State Sen. R. Clayton 'Clay' Davis: The HUD faucet, the money faucet.

Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Look, I don't know why we got to wait three years for that shit. I'm ready to run now.
State Sen. R. Clayton 'Clay' Davis: No. You're not. I mean, forgive me but you still showing a little bit of that street corner mentality. Bugging about every dime you spend, about the permits, about setting up a PAC, about dropping cash into re-election war chests, which, by the way, is how I get my gravy. Look, it takes money to make money, otherwise, hell, every pauper'd be a king.

Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: ... And what it shows people is that I know my business. That I will hold people accountable based on the facts. It's about what's right.
Theresa D'Agostino: There you go again.
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: What?
Theresa D'Agostino: Do you think politics is only about winning the argument? That whoever has the right fact at the right moment wins? Clinton had facts. Kennedy had facts. Yeah, but Reagan? He couldn't summon a fact to save his life. It's not just facts, it's how you use them. When you get hold of a fact you go smart-ass and start beating on people. Clinton and Reagan... when they got up to speak, they gave everyone in the room comfort and confidence. You liked those guys. You were happy to think that they even liked you.
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: You're saying I'm not likable?

Off. Anthony Colicchio: You know what this is? It's moral midgetry!

Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: You hustling?
Deacon: Educating.
Maj. Howard 'Bunny' Colvin: Are you charging for it or tuition-free?
Deacon: Tuition will come back to him tenfold in acquired wisdom. Besides, nothing in the world's more expensive than "free."

Omar Little: No, no, no, man. This right here, boy. This too good. This some kind of full-tilt setup, man, to catch a master scoundrel. Capone and whatnot. They probably got police behind every window. Hit this? You must be tripping. Home, James. Boy, you better keep your head back in the game or you gonna land us both in the pokey.

Political Analyst: Slow your words. Try to lock your eyes on whoever you talk to. Make them think they matter. Use open, warm phrases. Nothing sharp, nothing that bites.
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: Where's the fun in that?

Russell 'Stringer' Bell: A cop shouldn't mess with a mother's pain.
Brianna Barksdale: No one should.

Russell 'Stringer' Bell: "War," man, we past this bullshit.
Avon Barksdale: Yeah, I forgot. You know, I knew I forgot something. We the Trump brothers.
Russell 'Stringer' Bell: Man, you don't give this shit up, you're gonna turn everything we built to shit.
Avon Barksdale: The Chump brothers. You know the difference between me and you? I bleed red, you bleed green. What you been building for us? You know what, I look at you, you know what I see? I see a man without a country. Not hard enough for this right here. And maybe, just maybe, not smart enough for them out there.

—
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The Mandalorian. Chapter 23: The Spies

The Mandalorian 3×7

Moff Gideon: We shall be rid of the Mandalorians once and for all... Long Live the Empire!

Bo-Katan Kryze: I hope these two groups get along. They've never met, and what little they know of each other, they hate.
The Mandalorian: They will if they wanna survive.

The Mandalorian: What did you do to IG-11?
Greef Karga: No, that's IG-12 now. Do you like him?
The Mandalorian: Do I like him?
Greef Karga: Don't worry. He's safe.
The Mandalorian: You're sure?
Greef Karga: Well, the Anzellans stripped IG down to his base motor functions. They removed his memory circuit. The pilot provides cognition... Think of it this way. It's more like a vehicle. Hmm? It's safer that way.

The Anzellan: Bad baby. No squeezie!

Bo-Katan Kryze: Our people have suffered time and again. From division and squabbling factions. Mandalore has always been too powerful for any enemy to defeat. It is always our own division that destroys us.

The Mandalorian: Isn't that our history? For thousands of years, we havebeen on the verge of extinction, and for thousands of years, we have survived.
Bo-Katan Kryze: I don't know if I can keep everyone together. There's too much animosity. And this blade is all I have to unify our people.
The Mandalorian: I only know of this weapon what you taught me. To be honest, it means nothing to me or my people. Nor does station or bloodline. What means more to me is honor. And loyalty. And character. These are the reasons I serve you, Lady Kryze. Your song is not yet written. I will serve you until it is.

Moff Gideon: Thank you for gathering the Mandalorians into one place. You were a talented people, but your time has passed.

Moff Gideon: You see, every society has something to offer. The cloners. The Jedi. And even the Mandalorians... By aggregating the best of each, I will create an army that will bring order to the galaxy.

Moff Gideon: In but a few moments, the Purge of Mandalore will be complete...

Paz Vizsla: This is the Way.

—
On the IMDb

Arrivals

The White Lotus 1×1

Shane Patton: No offense... leave me the fuck alone.

Armond: See, in situations like that, just always stay positive. Remind these people of-- of all the fabulous things they already possess. Unique room, ocean view... You have to treat these people like sensitive children. They always say it's about the money, but it's not. It's not even about the room. They just need to feel seen.
Lani: Seen.
Armond: They wanna be the only child. The special, chosen baby child of the hotel. And we are their mean mummies, denying them their Pineapple room.

Mark Mossbacher: You know, I think... it's like every kid... like, growing up, wants to be the hero of the story. And in the end... you know, you're just happy you're not the villain. You know what I'm saying?

Belinda: Every moment... I'm being born into this life. I will drop the story... and feel the newness of each moment. I am my own phallic mother. I'm my own vaginal father. I fill my own cup. My failing body is immaterial. The child in me is alive and fresh as the day I was born. I will connect with that child at all times and feed and nurture her.

Armond: You-- you can't have a baby the first day on the job.

—
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The Mandalorian. Chapter 22: Guns for Hire

The Mandalorian 3×6

Axe Woves: We're privateers. Individuals for hire. The price is high but we are very good at what we do. Loyal as well.

Calamari Prince: I thought Mandalorians were honorable.
A Mandalorian: We are, kid. All it takes is a few credits.

Dispatcher: Welcome to Plazir-15. The Outer Rim's only remaining direct democracy. You've been assigned a docking slip. You will be guided on the assigned path. Engaging automated guidance.

Bo-Katan Kryze: Our charter forbids any standing army from entering our city. Our constables aren't even allowed to carry blasters.
The Mandalorian: But you allowed us to be armed.
Bo-Katan Kryze: Exactly. The people have voted that we are a pluralistic society.
Captain Bombardier: You are Mandalorians. Weaponry and armor are intrinsic to your culture, are they not?

Bo-Katan Kryze: What do you think?
The Mandalorian: You had me at "battle droids."

Bo-Katan Kryze: Turn them off.
Commissioner Helgait: What?
The Mandalorian: Why not turn them all off? Who's in charge of that?
Commissioner Helgait: I am. There's a failsafe cutoff switch built into the system. However...
Bo-Katan Kryze: What?
Commissioner Helgait: The citizens voted against any interruption in droid services. They can't live without it.
The Mandalorian: And why's that?
Commissioner Helgait: The citizens are no longer required to work and can spend their days engaging in recreation, the arts, and participating in our direct democracy. If we shut down the droids, our citizens wouldn't know how to survive. Our society would collapse.

Bo-Katan Kryze: I haven't seen battle droids since the Clone Wars.
The Mandalorian: I have.
Bo-Katan Kryze: Any of 'em look suspicious?
The Mandalorian: They all look suspicious.

Bo-Katan Kryze: What are you doing?
The Mandalorian: You're wasting your time. You can't reason with droids.
Bo-Katan Kryze: Their behavior is programmed. All they do is reason.
The Mandalorian: They're also programmed not to harm organics. How's that going?

The Dutchess: ... And to this little one, I grant knighthood. You are now a knight of the Ancient Order of Independent Regencies. Go in peace, brave travelers. Until our paths meet again.

The Mandalorian: I return this blade to its rightful owner...

—
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The Whale (2022)

Thomas: But why did you have me read it to you?
Charlie: Because I thought I was dying. And I wanted to hear it one last time.

Charlie: What was my blood pressure?
Liz: Two-hundred and thirty-eight over 134.
Charlie: Oh.
Liz: Yeah. "Oh."

Thomas: I still don't understand why you had me read that essay to you.
Charlie: It's a really good essay.

Ellie: I'm not spending time with you. You're disgusting.
Charlie: Well, I'm a lot bigger than I was since last time you saw me.
Ellie: No, I'm not talking about what you look like. You'd be disgusting even if you weren't this fat.

Ellie: Tell you one thing that I like about religion. What I like about religion is that it assumes that everyone is an idiot and that they're all incapable of saving themselves. I think they got something right with that.
Thomas: I don't think like that...
Ellie: What I don't like about religion is that when people accept Jesus or whatever, they suddenly think that they're better than everyone else. By accepting the fact that they're stupid sinners, somehow they've become better, and they turn into assholes.
Thomas: I don't really know what to say. I have some pamphlets that I think would...

Thomas: There's so much more in the Bible that we can...
Charlie: I read the Bible.
Thomas: Really?
Charlie: Sure. Couple times.
Thomas: Did you like it?
Charlie: I thought it was devastating... God creates us, expels us from paradise. We wander around for thousands of years killing each other, before he comes back and saves 144,000 of us. Meanwhile, seven-and-a-half billion of us fall into hell.
Thomas: Yeah. That's not really how I interpret it, but...

Charlie: I understand that you're angry. But... You don't have to be angry at the whole world. You can just be angry at me.

Ellie: All this time, you... You could have been a part of my life.
Charlie: Ellie. Look at me... Who would want me to be a part of their life?

Ellie: Just fucking die already!

Charlie: These assignments don't matter. This course doesn't matter. College doesn't matter. These amazing, honest things that you wrote, they matter.

Charlie: Do you ever get the feeling that... People are incapable of not caring? People are amazing.

Charlie: "And I felt saddest of all when I read the boring chapters that were only descriptions of whales, because I knew that the author was just trying to save us from his own sad story, just for a little while."

—
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Dream Team

The Office 5×20

Kevin Malone: Dunder Mifflin. This is Kevin. Please hold while I transfer you.

Jim Halpert: Charles is having Kevin cover the phones for a while. How do I say this diplomatically?... I think Kevin is doing exactly as well as anyone might have expected someone like him to perform in a position like that.

Jim Halpert: I've never been a kiss-up. I... It's just not how I operate. I mean, I've always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there, and you do mediocre work, half-heartedly.

Pam Beesly: We need to come up with one realistic thing that we could do today.
Michael Scott: Assemble a sales team. A dream team.
Pam Beesly: Great.
Michael Scott: Okay... Ryan.
Pam Beesly: No. What? Why?!
Michael Scott: He's everything I'm not, and everything I am. He's the whole package.

Vikram: He seems really confident.
Pam Beesly: He... can be.
Vikram: Confidence... It's the food of the wise man, but the liquor of the fool.

Michael Scott: Pam, everyone deserves a second, second chance.

Michael Scott: I have spent the last 15 years learning the ins and outs of the paper industry. With a lean, mean fighting crew and low overhead, I think I can perform the same business at a much, much higher rate of profit.
Nana: How do you expect to turn a profit in this economy?
Michael Scott: By wanting it more, by working hard...
Nana: What's your mission statement?
Michael Scott: My mission is stated as follows... I will not be beat. I will never give up. I am on a mission. That is the Michael Scott guarantee.

—
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Spring Break

South Park 26×6

Mr. Garrison: Oh, no thanks. I don't rally anymore. ... I don't need to rally. I'm just here to relax. Take care.

Randy Marsh: What in the actual [BLEEP] are you guys doing?
Stan Marsh: We're playing "40k."
Randy Marsh: You guys have wasted another day of spring break with this stupid shit.

Randy Marsh: Do you guys know what spring break is about? Wet t-shirt contests, mud wrestling. Don't you wanna get some bitches over here?
Stan Marsh: I thought you were happy 'cause the bitches were gone?
Randy Marsh: I'm happy the bitches are gone so we can have bitches over! Spring break is dude time.

Randy Marsh: You know what, today's society has ruined it all. They've taught you boys to be ashamed of being boys. Convinced you that your natural innate male desires are toxic. No matter what the liberals try to tell you, boys, you shouldn't be ashamed of your gender.
Stan Marsh: Okay, Dad. So I've got an Imperium infantry unit within six inches of Celestine, so they have a +6 save.

Mr. Garrison: This whole situation in the Ukraine, that wouldn't be happening on my watch. The problem is now we all have a president who's afraid. And that's why Joe and the ho have got to go!

Mr. Garrison: I mean, after all, I am here for you. I am your warrior! Liberal left! Hunter Biden laptop!

Mr. Garrison: And we're gonna take Georgia, and... and we're gonna take Arizona this time! And when I say we're gonna take Arizona in the election, I... I mean we're gonna take it again. 'cause we all know I won it last time, too!

Mr. Garrison: Come on, just stop. Stop. The country is fine. You have better things to do...

Mr. Garrison: Well, to hell with you! Nobody controls me! Yeah! America! Yeah!

Randy Marsh: Whoa, whoa! No, no, no. It's okay. I'm just helping my boy through the media assault on manliness.

Mr. Garrison: I know you all really want to rally and rage, but... the only thing I have to say is... is that... I. Love. Rick.

Mr. Garrison: Oh, Rick! I don't wanna go through all that again. I just wanna stay in South Park with you.
Rick: Well, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

—
On the IMDb