The One with the Mugging

Friends 9×15

Chandler: Guys! Guys! I've got great news. Guess what.
Joey: Uh, Monica's pregnant!
Monica: Really?!

Phoebe: I wasn't rich like you guys, okay? I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony. I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.
Ross: Your mother killed herself!
Phoebe: She was a drug dealer!

Joey: You're probably wondering what I'm doing. Ha, ha.
Monica: No, that seems about right.
Joey: Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee. Apparently, that makes me a good actor. I got a callback, so I'm drinking everything.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Every Version of You

This Is Us 6×10

Rebecca: Do you even know what you're gonna do when you get there?
Randall: I haven't got it all mapped out, Mom, but throwing Deja over my shoulder and zip-tying her to the backseat has come to mind.

Randall: If I do this thing, I'll win, Mom. If I run, I'll win. And if I win, I can't even imagine where this thing will end.
Rebecca: I can. I can see it very clearly.

Randall: That's the thing about first loves, man. They form you and can stay with you for the rest of your life.
Malik: Yeah...
Randall: You know, these things have a way of coming back around, Malik, if they're meant to be. A person can walk out the door and that's the end, but sometimes, the door reopens.

Randall: .... Oh, and I may end up being president one day. So... I really can't get arrested.

--
On the IMDb
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The One with the Blind Dates

Friends 9×14

Rachel: I'll bring her by around 7, okay?
Monica: That's perfect.
Rachel: You guys are gonna have so much fun. She's at such a cute age... A couple things. Now that she eats solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair because she likes to grab it. She's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams, but, oh... thanks, you guys. Have fun.

Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Joey: She's into history and foreign movies. Oh, oh. And she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. You're ruining the plan! Joey, you fixed him up with his perfect woman.
Joey: Oh, my God, you're right! She even reads for pleasure!

Chandler: I'm your Uncle Chandler. Funny is all I have!

Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the 6th. So don't touch yourself for the next 48 hours.
Chandler: I don't do that-- I'll try to stop.

Monica: How much can she even be aware of at this age?
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave a room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.
Monica: "Canoodling"?
Chandler: Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw"... in front of the B-A-B-Y.

Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud and I was fast.

Joey: Because you two were having sex!
Monica: No, we weren't.
Joey: Don't you lie to me. I can tell by Chandler's hair. You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?

Steve: Look... I think I know the answer to this question, but... would you like to make love to me?

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Trust

The Walking Dead 11×15

Lance: At the end of the day, we all want the same thing, right? Justice.

Aaron: To the Commonwealth?
Lance: Oh, no. There's monsters running loose. We need to smoke them out...

Kelly: We need inside access to dig it out.
Eugene: I might know someone...

Carol: I just have some things that I need to figure out first, to fix. Uh, it's better that you don't even know about it, okay? Just trust me.
Ezekiel: I trust you... more than anyone.

Ezekiel: You'd think this place would make life easier, huh? Feels like there's a lot more gray instead.

Maggie: It doesn't have to be this way.
Daryl: .... Yeah, it does.

Maggie: You expect me to trust him?
Daryl: I ain't asking you to trust him. I'm asking you to trust me.

Ezekiel: I was hoping this new job of yours had connections here...
Carol: Yeah, well, my old man used to say, "It's the hope that kills you."

Maggie: Plenty others have made the mistake of threatening my family. Most of them are dead now.

Ezekiel: Darkness is heavy. Some of us carry more than others because we're strong enough to hold the weight. But we make the light. Hey. You make the light, Carol. You know that, don't you?

Shira: There is no choice because... there is no back to normal. We know what we know. And because of that, things have to change. ...
Eugene: I can promise you this. Whatever we find, whatever comes our way, you will not face it alone. I'll be by your side, hell or high water.

Lance: My name is Lance Hornsby. And I'm here to offer you a job...

—
On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.5

Servant of the People 1×5

Economy Minister: Nothing changes in this country. If I had it my way, I wouldn't wait for that clown-- Welcome, Vasyl Petrovych.

Che Gevara: Do you really think you can change them? You can change them only with an aspen stake... or with a silver bullet! They need to be shot or hung.

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Dear... Dear Deputies! Dear... Putin has been deposed!... I was kidding. I couldn't stop you any other way. Sit down, dear publicly elected officials.

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: I've been wanting to meet all of you. I don't know how to start. So I'll start from the very beginning. From democracy... You're servants of the people. You all know what democracy is. Frankly, people define it to their liking. In actuality, the Greek word "democracy" translates as "rule of the people". Demos kratos. People. Power. Not "kratodemiya". You understand? Not "rule over the people"... but vice versa.
     We do have a democracy. Isn't that right? I mean, that's what you constantly repeat on television. The rule in our country truly does belong to the people. Consequently, the public hires you, and me in particular, for the job. Please explain, then, why I, as an average voter, with a history teacher's salary, can't afford a cramped, 50-year-old prefab flat... when you, my subordinates, live in luxury mansions? Don't you think that's weird? Or am I the only one who sees the anomaly?
     Are you doing okay? You're public servants, indeed! Where does it say that servants should live better than their masters? Or maybe you're simply confused and serve another master? Instead of serving the people, you're the lackeys of oligarchs.
     Don't you want to do something good for the country? Do you really believe that in the afterlife... they accept platinum credit cards?

—
On the IMDb

True Enough

Boss 2×10

Ian Todd: By the way, I know we haven't discussed this, but I was assuming that with Mona's departure, I...
Mayor Tom Kane: Never assume anything.

Sam Miller: I get it, you're pals.
Mayor Tom Kane: Freedom of the press.
Sam Miller: I believe it was Liebling who said, "it can only be guaranteed by those who actually own one." And he meant that, owners of the press had the right to publish without government interference--
Mayor Tom Kane: Stop.

Sam Miller: Fuck! It's a good thing no one reads the paper anymore. Fuck!

Sam Miller: Fuck. Pull the online. Call the trucks back.
Jackie: Well, then have them pull the copy from the stands!
Sam Miller: Fuck! It's a good thing no one reads the paper anymore. Fuck! FUCK!!!

Mayor Tom Kane: Your proximity to me doesn't make you entitled to anything of mine. Anything. You want to move up, you earn it. Don't expect me to give it to you. And if I do, you damn well better appreciate it.

Mayor Tom Kane: Do you realize what you gave him?... Access. Influence. Power!

Mayor Tom Kane: Mortality is inevitable, but yours will forever be tied to mine. Remember that.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.4

Servant of the People 1×4

Maria Goloborodko: Okay, so, you have salad, burger patties and a thermos with Borscht. Bring the containers back.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: No need. I can eat downtown.
Maria Goloborodko: Downtown? It's expensive!
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Okay. Is that all?
Maria Goloborodko: No, wait a second. Most importantly...
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What's the pin for?
Maria Goloborodko: The pin? To ward off the opposition. They all give you the evil eye. They won't jinx you.

Sergei Pavlovich: I want to count personally. Every ballot!
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: But why recount your 3%?
Sergei Pavlovich: Three and a half.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: He has 60%.
Sergei Pavlovich: That's an error.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: But how could 60% be an error?
Sergei Pavlovich: It's the nation that erred. I'll give them a second chance. Let them vote again, Yura. Text message votes will save me, Yura. Text message votes, Yura!

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko: Don't worry, Arkadiy Grigorevich. I'll maintain your high standards. After all, the success of any enterprise rests on three pillars. Hard work, honesty and fairness.
Arkadiy Grigorevich: Who said that one?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko: Vasyl Holoborodko.
Arkadiy Grigorevich: Yes... Who's that?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko: It's not important.

Sergei Pavlovich: I bet one million, that boy won't last one month in the job. "Hard work and honesty". I almost died laughing!

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Why are you giving me that look? You don't like me?
Bella Rudolfovna: You're my fifth president...

—
On the IMDb

Clinch

Boss 2×9

Mayor Tom Kane: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Governor McCall Cullen: The governor of the goddamn state, that's who.
Mayor Tom Kane: You have no idea...

Mayor Tom Kane: What qualifies someone, do you suppose, to run a city? .... Did you study law? Economics? Get elected? .... Do you really think I'd allow the likes of you to take this from me? A bean counter? A shyster? Someone who has more regard for the almighty dollar than the people of this city.

Alderman Ross: Why don't you just fucking roll over and die?
Mayor Tom Kane: Nice to see you, too, William.

Mona Fredricks: People forget a fundamental truth. Tom Kane always finds a way. The further you back him into a corner, the more painful the cuts when he fights his way out.

Meredith Kane: He's not on board.
Mayor Tom Kane: They say a mule will labor 10 years willingly and patiently for the privilege of kicking you just once.

Mayor Tom Kane: It's a sailor's term for being overtaken by misfortune. "Hard up in a clinch and no knife to cut the seizing."

Mayor Tom Kane: I'm not going anywhere.

Mayor Tom Kane: I wish City Hall was a taller building. Or closer to the water. Be nice to see the lake... Some believe you think more clearly near water. Have you heard that?

Ian Todd: Mr. Mayor, I cannot express to you strongly enough the urgency of the situation. I don't want to see you surrender. Tell me what to do and I'll do it.
Mayor Tom Kane: Good man. Another day...

Mona Fredricks: What about you? Who are you lying to? There was no political upside to the promises you made. So either you give a shit and you pussied out, or you're a motherfucking lunatic! Which is it, Tom?
Mayor Tom Kane: ... Your naivety was charming for a time, Miss Fredricks. Even enchanting. I wondered what it would feel like to bask in the admiration of someone so pure of intent. It was nice. But now I know... Don't bother to collect your things. I'll have someone send them along... And give my best to Bitsy.

—
On the IMDb
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Sluga naroda #1.3

Servant of the People 1×3

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Isn't this Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address of 1863?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: That's actually great. Wonderful! Nobody here will notice, and Lincoln's homeland will praise it. You'll have to ask them for money.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Then how about I use my own words?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: My dearest Vasyl Petrovych, hear me out. Trust in my lifelong experience. Any ad-libbing leads to Bushisms like, "They misunderestimated me." Therefore, let's keep to the text, please.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Let's start.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What should I do?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Not much. Smile, nod, and shake hands. Most importantly, say little to avoid apologizing a lot later.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Shake the hand softly. She should dominate. The shake decides how much aid Germany's central bank will give us.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Vasyl Petrovych, pardon me, but it didn't dawn on me to ask. Perhaps, you'd like... a first lady?

—
On the IMDb

Babardeala cu bucluc sau porno balamuc (2021)

[Cinema] — We have learned in school the story of the Gorgon Medusa whose face was so horrible that the sheer sight of it turned man and beasts into stone. When Athena instigated Perseus to slay the monster, she warned him never to look at its face but only at its mirror reflection in the polished shield. Following her advice Perseus cut off Medusa's head. The moral is that we do not, and cannot, see actual horrors because they paralyze us with blinding fear; and that we shall know what they look like only by watching images which reproduce their appearance. The cinema screen is Athena's polished shield.

[Competition] — The Shah of Persia, visiting England, declined the invitation to a horse race saying he knew very well that one horse runs faster than another.

[Children] — Political prisoners of their parents.

[Folklore] — "Testimonies of a people's imbecility" is how Caragiale defined folklore.

[History] — History and life, unlike novels and stories, do not teach a lesson of superficial joie de vivre, even to the happily constituted spirit and senses. The contemplation of history is more likely to inspire, if not contempt for humanity, then a sombre vision of the world.

[Mathematics] — Mathematics is the consequence of what there would be if there could be anything at all.

[Blowjob] — Most looked-up word in the Online Dictionary. The second is "empathy".

[Nature] — Alexandre Blok, journal entry, April 15, 1912: "Yesterday, I took great joy in the wreck of the Titanic: So there is still an Ocean."

[Political] — H. Broch states political indifference is closely related to moral decay, in that people who are politically innocent are morally suspect, and that the Germans never felt responsible for Hitler's coming to power, because they saw themselves as apolitical.

[Future] — 99% of all the species that ever lived are now extinct.

[Rape] — 55% of responders say rape is justified in certain situations, such as under the influence of alcohol or drugs, if the victim dresses provocatively, or if they agreed to come to someone's home.

—
On the IMDb

The Rotten Core

The Walking Dead 11×14

Negan: Everybody... Let's put our shit back in our pants and zip up. Shall we?

Lydia: They're like the Whisperers. They just wear different masks.

Maggie: If anything happens to him...
Negan: It'll have to happen to me first.

Annie: He's in good hands.
Maggie: He's in the hands of the man who killed his father.

Annie: None of us have clean hands. I've seen what people will do to each other to survive. Sometimes, it was done to me. Other times, I did it to them. I'm not proud of it, but it happened. All I can do now is try to be better. Just like him.
Maggie: He doesn't get to forget.
Annie: He hasn't... What matters to me is who he is now.

Hershel: Are you a bad man?
Negan: I was. Look, kid, I...
Hershel: My mom told me a bad man killed my dad.

Lance: Look... this place works because everyone plays their part. If you can't or won't, it hurts everyone else. That's when the system breaks down, and we can't let that happen. You know what I'm saying?
Carol: Yeah. Yeah, people can either be part be of the problem or part of the solution.
Lance: I knew you'd get it.

Gabriel: But if Ian didn't steal the weapons, who did?

—
+ Quotes on the Quotes on the IMDb

Consequence

Boss 2×8

Mayor Tom Kane: Behind you... The door.

Mayor Tom Kane: The food chain. Each layer of the hierarchy struggles, toils, exists, only to be consumed by a dominant species. Sound familiar? Grass, bugs, birds, snakes, and so on. One feeding the next, all the way up to the commanding predatory creatures. That is the order of things.

Ben Zajac: The puppet is cutting his strings. If I win, I win on my own. If I lose, so be it.

Mayor Tom Kane: The budget vote is tomorrow. Great men have compromised in times of trial and emerged the stronger. I intend to be among them.

Mayor Tom Kane: In times of desperation, we must sometimes sacrifice our darlings.

Mona Fredricks: What do we do?
Mayor Tom Kane: I don't know.

—
On the IMDb

Warlords

The Walking Dead 11×13

Maggie: What's easier isn't always better.

Maggie: You think The Commonwealth knows better?
Lydia: Is that crazy to think?
Maggie: Yes! Those people have not been tested for 10 years. Do you wanna be there when they are?
Lydia: I just... want things to be the same every day.

Gabriel: I'm not doing this. Places like that usually have some old man with a shotgun inside just looking for an excuse to kill some dumbass who stepped on his front lawn. Practically screams "do not disturb."

Warlord: Ian: Okay. Let's say this place is... like the old world, and they do have a church, then they have to have hookers, too. Right? And gambling? Shit side of town where addicts swap needles with runaways. Got all that, too?

Carlson: And what about when things turn and I have to tell them what's what?
Lance: They'll fall in line. Everyone does.

Carlson: Ready the shelf, warlord. Top shelf, dead center. How's that sound?

Aaron: We are supposed to be helping people.
Carlson: We are. This is the other side of it. Snuffing out threats.

—
+ Quotes on the Quotes on the IMDb

American History X (1998)

Murray: Bob, that goes too far. This racist propaganda, this Mein Kampf psychobabble?
Sweeney: He learned this nonsense, Murray, and he can unlearn it too. I will not give up on this child yet.

Sweeney: So here's the drill. I'm your history teacher from now on. We will discuss current events. We will call this class... American History X.

Derek: You know what? That's exactly what I hate. You're taking one thing and calling it something else... and alleviating the responsibility that these people have for their own actions. It's like saying: "It's not a riot, it's rage. It's not crime, it's poverty." It's just nonsense. It's bullshit. It's exactly what happened in this trial too. Because the media twisted things around so people focused on these cops... whether they'd get convicted... and whether Rodney King's civil rights had been violated. Everybody lost sight of Rodney King himself. The guy's a multiple felon by his own admission. He's high as a goddamn kite, driving 120 miles an hour down the highway. He gets pulled over by a bunch of cops, and he attacks them. He attacked police officers! Bottom line. And he walked. And there's some yahoo with a video camera who turned it on halfway through... so all we see is them hitting him.

Murray: He's gone.
Doris: He's just a boy... without a father.

Doris: You think you're the only one doing time, Derek? You think you're here all alone? You think I'm not in here with you?

Sweeney: I used to blame everybody. Blame white people. Blame society. Blame God. I didn't get no answers, because I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek: Like what?
Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?

Danny: So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned. My conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is... hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The Conversation

Boss 2×7

Mayor Tom Kane: Press will get bored and move on. The riots were unfortunate, but the story will conclude, as they all do. In the meantime...

Meredith Kane: It's done, Babe.
Gerald 'Babe' McGantry: You fucking cunt. You're nothing. You're a goddamn dress form with a slit!
Meredith Kane: I am the constant. You were always a variable.

Sam Miller: You know, as much as I hate the bastard, Kane never fails to impress. He just dealt a race card from the bottom of the deck, sits back, relaxes, and lets the righteous indignation machine do the work for him. You know?

Mayor Tom Kane: I hired you for all the wrong reasons. You knew that, yet here you are. You knew how long the odds were, and yet you played. I envy you. After 20 years behind this desk, I've lost sight of why I started. And now here you are, a constant reminder.
Mona Fredricks: I'm no idealist.
Mayor Tom Kane: No, you're a realist who holds out hope. I don't know what lies ahead, but I promise you won't be blindsided...

Meredith Kane: Are you in love with her?
Mayor Tom Kane: ... Just obsessed?

Mayor Tom Kane: Confidence. It cuts both ways.

—
On the IMDb
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Sluga naroda #1.2

Servant of the People 1×2

Plutarch: They lead the world in oil production.
Aristophanes: Olive oil?
Plutarch: Sunflower oil.
Aristophanes: Right. There is such a thing. I see.
Plutarch: The world's third largest grain producer.
Aristophanes: That's right.
Plutarch: They also make airplanes, combine harvesters, cars...
Aristophanes: Cars? Not really...
Plutarch: Tractors!
Aristophanes: Right, tractors. That's good... So what needs changing? They've got paradise.
Plutarch: But the country is facing default.
Aristophanes: How is that possible? Where's all the wealth going, then?
Plutarch: Into people's pockets. Pilfering. Got it?

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Mr President, the limousine awaits. If you're ready, we can go now.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Now let's move on. Anna Petrovna, your psychologist.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Sure thing.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Nina Vladimirovna. Anna Petrovna's psychologist.
Vasyl Holoborodko: No surprise there.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: After what Anna Petrovna hears, she herself needs psychological aid.

Mikhail Semenovich: You think he'll change?
Andrei Nikolaevich: I don't think. I know. Even honest folks, when given the chance, like to live at the expense of the state.

Petr Holoborodko: Sweet Jesus! Did you find a sack full of cash? All that for 5,000?
Svetlana Sakhno: Yeah, right. Take your 5,000 back.
Natasha: Get this, Grandpa. Sales everywhere! 100% discounts!

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: We have a bear here. It's white.
Vasyl Holoborodko: White?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: And a grey one, too. Like in that song about two happy bears.
Vasyl Holoborodko: They were geese.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: The geese flew away.
Vasyl Holoborodko: To the south?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: To Russia. To Rostov...

—
On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.1

Servant of the People 1×1

Mikhail Semenovich: Gentlemen, aren't you tired of pointlessly wasting money? First, we spend millions to bring our candidates to the political forefront, and then we spend twice as much to ruin our competitors.
Andrei Nikolaevich: Those are the rules. You want to install your own president? Then back him.
Rustem Ashotovich: Let us be honest with each other for once. When somebody talks about honesty, that means they want to take off your last pair of pants. I don't remember who said this, but it was one of the greats.

Mikhail Semenovich: It's one week before the election. We worked hard for our candidates. They're almost neck and neck. Now let the best man win.
Rustem Ashotovich: What good will that bring me?
Andrei Nikolaevich: Rustem Ashotovich, to prove to Mikhail Semenovich, myself, and you personally, who is ultimately king of the castle.
Rustem Ashotovich: Fair enough. Let the people of Ukraine decide who wins... Unsupervised democracy? I like this kind of game. I haven't felt such a rush of adrenaline in a long time.

Petr Holoborodko: Unemployment benefits are higher than a teacher's salary.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Your logic is strange, Dad.
Petr Holoborodko: My logic is strange? You finish school, go to college and then go back to school.

Petr Holoborodko: Your dad isn't a cabbie. Your dad works in the service industry.

Vasyl Holoborodko: I'm sick and tired of all this! Mathematics is valued as a science. That's all very fine. But history, as you said, is dog shit? Then we wonder why our politicians make the same mistakes when they enter the halls of power? Because they're great mathematicians! All they know is to divide and subtract.

Vasyl Holoborodko: All these f**kers vex me! Up to here, got it? Now, damn it, they force the kids to assemble the booths! Why is it a hard knock life? Because our choice begins in a wooden voting booth. You know? And who's there to vote for? It's always the lesser of two assholes and it's been this way for 25 years.

Vasyl Holoborodko: You know what else? Nothing will change again. You know why? Because you, my Dad, me, we'll once again vote for another shitstick! Yeah, because we all know he's an asswipe, but the other person is worse! ... Then these shitsticks enter government. And they loot and talk shit, talk more shit and swindle! Same shit, different day. No one gives a shit! You couldn't give a f**k. Me, not a damn soul! They couldn't care less. No one ever gives two shits at all, for that matter.

Vasyl Holoborodko: If I could have just one week in office, if at all possible, I would show them! F**k the motorcades, f**k the perks, f**k the weekend chalets! F**k it all, damn it. Have a simple teacher live like a president and a president live like a teacher! I tell you this as a teacher of history. But you don't give a flying f**k! Bastards!

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: I understand that this all just came out of the blue. But try to focus, and pull yourself together.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Yeah, I'll try. Where are we going?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: We've got a full day ahead of us. There's a clothes fitting, personal image work, a photo shoot, a meeting with journalists and a press conference.
Vasyl Holoborodko: All that in one day?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Well, preferably, by lunch.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: By the way, which do you like better - a Patek Phillipe or Vacheron Constantin?
Vasyl Holoborodko: I haven't read them. I've absolutely no time.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Patek Phillipe, Vacheron Constantin, Breguet, Hublot... Do you know who wears these?
Vasyl Holoborodko: Who?
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Putin.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Putin wears Hublot?

Andrei Nikolaevich: Then who has?
Mikhail Semenovich: In other words, a man ascended to the presidency who isn't under the control of any of us? That's rich.
Rustem Ashotovich: One of us is keeping quiet about this.
Mikhail Semenovich: Perhaps he's a puppet from the West?
Andrei Nikolaevich: Or the Kremlin.

Vasyl Holoborodko: Mother... Give a toast.
Maria Goloborodko: Dear Vasya!
Vasyl Holoborodko: Mom, it's not for me.
Maria Goloborodko: The president's mom is speaking.
Vasyl Holoborodko: Indeed...
Maria Goloborodko: Natasha has a birthday every year.
Natasha: Who needs this anyway? It's only my 18th birthday. Please continue, Grandma.

—
On the IMDb

The One Where Monica Sings

Friends 9×13

Phoebe: Sounds like you need to think about what you want and talk to Gavin.
Monica: And you definitely should talk to Ross.
Rachel: Or... I could call in sick and not deal with it at all.
Phoebe: Wow! Five months maternity leave, you're back for four days... kiss a co-worker and call in sick. They are lucky to have you.

Chandler: Maybe you're going about this the wrong way. I mean, think about it: Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself.

Ross: Hey, check out those two blonds over there. Hey, come with me.
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It'll just be easier if it's two of us. Like college, remember? First, you break the ice with some kind of a joke... so they know you're the funny one. I swoop in with interesting conversation... so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding sexy one.
Chandler: .... I thought I got to make the jokes.

Gavin: It's probably not my place, but can I give you a piece of advice?
Rachel: Yes.
Gavin: You should talk to Ross about all this.
Rachel: People keep saying that...

Monica: Did you see me up there?
Phoebe: Every little bit of you.
Monica: I can't believe I sang in front of people and they liked me. Did you hear that guy shouting, "Look at those tips"? I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Mike: Sure.

Chandler: Are those my wife's nipples?
Phoebe: Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before. I wouldn't have let her go up again.

Rachel: Ross, what's going on here? Are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: I don't know. Are we just kissing guys on balconies?
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Ross: Through the magic of sight.

Ross: Okay, Michelle, it's time to go.
Michelle: Well, call me.
Ross: Okay.
Michelle: Wait, you don't have my phone number.
Ross: You know what? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it. Bye-bye.

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The Hill

This Is Us 6×9

Toby: I am very excited. I have made plans. I've made so many plans, my plans have plans.

Randall: If you could dream of doing anything, what would it be? Anything.
Kate: That is the problem. I can't think of anything. Okay, I'm not like you guys. You know, you want to be an actor, and you want to change the world. We're the exact same age, and you guys are way ahead of me. Randall, you've already met the love of your life. And, Kevin, I mean, you're so far ahead, you've already ruined one marriage. I just... When I look into my future... I literally see nothing. No job, no family. Nothing.

Jack: Okay, Katie girl. Here's the moment. Just let go. Katie, just let go. Let go.
Kate: I will never let go, Daddy, ever!
Jack: Yeah? Why not?
Kate: Why would I?

Jack: You're almost there, Kate. Let's go. Almost there!

Rebecca: How'd she do?
Jack: Today is not the day.

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The One with Phoebe's Rats

Friends 9×12

Rachel: Am I the only one that doesn't think she's hot? Ross?
Ross: Ah, I mean, she's not unattractive, but... but hot? Ah...
Rachel: Thank you. Ha, ha.
Chandler: Now that Rachel's gone?
Ross: So hot, I cried myself to sleep last night.

Rachel: Stop looking at my ass. I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate. Okay? This is a work environment. She's your subordinate.
Gavin: But it was okay when you slept with your old assistant, Tag?
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One... I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass. We had a... We had a deep, meaningful relationship.

Ross: Look, come on, man. I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two... but for now, could you please just do this for me?
Chandler: Fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know once Joey sets his mind on something... more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.

Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true. The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian...

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