Antarctica

Atypical 1×1

Sam: I'm a weirdo. That's what everyone says. Sometimes, I don't know what people mean when they say things, and that can make me feel alone even when there are other people in the room. And all I can do is sit and twiddle, which is what I call my self-stimulatory behavior, when I flick a pencil against a rubber band at a certain frequency and think about all the things that I could never do, like research penguins in Antarctica or have a girlfriend. I don't know. I'd like to go to Antarctica. It's quiet there... except in the rookeries, where the penguins breed. Those aren't quiet. No, sir. I'm finished with my answer.
Julia: Great. Almost done for today. Good session, Sam.
Sam: I can see your bra. It's purple.

Sam: I don't care what happens to my dead brain. It's either I give it to Julia, or maggots eat it. If Mom wants maggots to eat it, fine.
Elsa: No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying.
Doug: Kind of is.
Sam: I don't care. I'll be dead.

Sam: Julia thinks that I should put myself out there and find someone to have sex with. Well, she didn't say the sex part. I added that.

---

Elsa: Dating is almost entirely nonverbal communication, and Sam's the most literal person I know.
Julia: Yeah, and there are strategies that I could teach him.
Elsa: Are there? Are there strategies for when you get your heart broken?

Julia: So, how's your week?
Sam: Well, I still don't have a date. I scared a girl off from across the room, and we had meat loaf twice, and I hate meat loaf.
Julia: How?
Sam: My mom just made it in the oven.
Julia: I mean, how did you scare her away?

Julia: The problem is you're crossing the line from flirty to creepy. Know, when you make eye contact, you have to look away a bit.
Sam: But how can I make eye contact and look away? I mean, I'm not a mantis shrimp.

Sam: Sometimes, I wish I was normal.
Evan: Well, dude... nobody's normal.

--
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The One Where Nana Dies Twice

Friends 1×8

Shelly: Hey, gorgeous. How's it going?
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights. Does it get better than this?

Shelly: Question: You're not dating, are you? I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Chandler: You see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said co-dependent or self-destructive...

Chandler: Okay. I'm gonna go flush myself down the toilet now.

Ross: You know, uh, how the nurse said Nana had passed? Well, she's not quite.
Judy Geller: What?!
Ross: She's not passed. She's present. She's back.

Monica: Now she's passed.

Judy Geller: Come here, sweetheart. You know... I think it's time for you to start using night cream.

--
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Long Shot (2019)

Alt-Right Leader: I trusted you, man!
Fred Flarsky: Yeah, well... Jews win this round, motherfucker! Peace! Ow!

President Chambers: Oh, hey, Charlotte. You caught me watching my show. ... Oh, here it is.
— Not now... Not today. Not in my house.
President Chambers: Yes! I love that!
Charlotte Field: Oh, me too.

Charlotte Field: ...You're incredibly popular, sir.
President Chambers: And I want to use that popularity to transition into something more prestigious than the presidency. I wanna make it in the movies.
Charlotte Field: .... You're going to leave the Presidency to go be in movies?
President Chambers: I know. It's gonna be tough. Only like, 10 guys have made that jump from TV to film. Woody Harrelson, George Clooney... Might be... Might be just two.

Fred Flarsky: Wish me luck, man.
Lance: Yeah, you don't need luck, man. Luck is for losers.

Fred Flarsky: ...but seriously. Did he just realize he sucks at it and decide not to do it anymore?
Charlotte Field: He just wants to move into film and make movies.
Fred Flarsky: Really? That's cool. That's a tough transition to make. Not many actors have made the leap from TV to film. You got George Clooney, you got Woody Harrelson...
Tom: Jennifer Aniston.
Fred Flarsky: Mmm, did she though?
Maggie Millikin: You don't think Jennifer Aniston's a movie star?
Fred Flarsky: Just 'cause you star in movies doesn't mean you're a movie star.

Charlotte Field: What don't you know?
Fred Flarsky: This whole Seas, Bees and Trees thing. Is it actually going to do something? Or is it going to be one of those things that maybe only sounds like it's gonna do something, but doesn't actually do something?

Charlotte Field: I feel like these jokes are a little angry.
Fred Flarsky: Oh. I thought maybe they were, like, emphatic?
Charlotte Field: "With every fracking drill thrust, we are literally butt-fucking Mother Earth"?
Fred Flarsky: It can be normal fucking. It doesn't have to be in the butt. I can take that part out.

Charlotte Field: Until you're running the game, you have to play the game.
Fred Flarsky: Well, then, by the time you win the game, you don't know who's scoring touchdowns on whose nets, and you don't know who's hitting home runs in whose fucking end zones!
Charlotte Field: What are you talking about?
Fred Flarsky: I don't know sports. Let me try it with food. You wanna open a restaurant. But all you got is chopsticks—

---

Charlotte Field: Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I usually last way longer than that. You know?
Fred Flarsky: Not me.

Fred Flarsky: I feel so happy right now! Like, I'm beginning to realize, I may have never been happy. This might be the first time I ever felt happy. And it feels good.

Parker Wembley: Look, I'm about to give you the easiest ultimatum that you're ever, ever gonna receive...

Fred Flarsky: She has no moral compass. She's working with fucking Democrats one day, Republicans the next fucking day.
Lance: I mean, what's wrong with working with Democrats and... Republicans? That's... That's the whole country.
Fred Flarsky: Uh, yeah, except fuck Republicans, I guess is the problem with that.
Lance: Speaking as an American, shouldn't you see both sides?
Fred Flarsky: Yeah. I see one side's fucking wrong. What's the problem here?
Lance: I'm a Republican.
Fred Flarsky: You're fucking joking right now.
Lance: Member of the GOP! Yeah, you know me.

Lance: Yeah, I'm a Republican! The shit has worked out so far for me.
Fred Flarsky: What the fuck, man? All that shit you're always saying to me!... Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. And being in charge of your own destiny. Republican shit!
Lance: Oh, and it worked on me! And it works on a lot of people!
Fred Flarsky: Oh, that's fucking sick! Ugh! That's gross!

Fred Flarsky: That Republican shit, you put it in my brain and it made me feel good. That's fucked up, man!

Fred Flarsky: Wait a minute. You're always talking about how, like, the universe has a plan for all of us...
Lance: Take it easy.
Fred Flarsky: There's someone watching over us at all times. Does that mean...
Lance: I'm a man of Christian faith.
Fred Flarsky: What the fuck!

Fred Flarsky: That's really fucked up.
Lance: That's all right, man. But my love for the GOP and the G-O-D has nothing to do with us.
Fred Flarsky: I'm racist. You're a Republican. I don't know what the fuck's going on.

Fred Flarsky: We should go along with the plan. I can be Marilyn. I can be your Marilyn. I'd rather be your Lady Bird, because, you know, LBJ put a ring on that finger.

Fred Flarsky: I'm come-guy?!

Lance: Wakanda Forever!

Fred: Hi! I'm the First Mister of the United States of America. My name is Fred Field. I took my wife's last name. And, uh, I'm gonna give you a tour of the White House. We're starting with the portraits of the first spouses...

--
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The One with the Butt

Friends 1×6

Phoebe: The exclamation point scares me. It's not just Freud, it's Freud!

Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men.

Chandler: Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Phoebe: But you always see these beautiful women with these "nothing" guys. You could be one of those guys...
Monica: You could do that.

Monica: How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Chandler: I actually had trouble with it at first too, but I get all the good stuff. All the fun, all the talking, all the sex... and none of responsibility. This is every guy's fantasy!
Phoebe: That is not true! Ross, is this your fantasy?
Ross: No, of course not... Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Monica: So, guys, you don't mind go out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Joey: I couldn't... When I'm with a woman, I need to know... that I'm going out with more people than she is.

Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows. I did the floors. I used all the attachments on the vacuum except for that round one. I don't know what it's for.
Ross: Nobody knows, and we're not supposed to ask.

Joey: I'm his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then... I'm his butt.

Joey: Come on, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it and that's big!
Chandler: Oh, no, it's terrific. You deserved this. After all your years of struggling... you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.

Ross: Look at it this way. You dumped her! Right? I mean, this woman was... unbelievably sexy... and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?

--
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Down the Rabbit Hole

Outlander 4×7

Roger: "Time is not a reality, but a concept or a measure." So says the Greek orator, Antiphon.
Fiona: Well, for yer sake, I hope that time travel is a reality, otherwise you'll have shaved your beard for nothing.

Ian Murray: An outlander?

Brianna: Who died?
Frank: Um... it's complicated.
Brianna: Well, do you wanna talk about it? I mean, "complicated" is a relative term, Daddy. It all depends on your perspective.
Frank: My daughter, the psychiatrist.

Frank: Nothing that a good cup of tea and a scone can't fix. Mm...

Frank: You know, sometimes, life takes unexpected turns, and when it does... Do you know what we do? We soldier on.

Stephen Bonnet: Whales. They scratch themselves against the ship to rid their skins of barnacles.
Roger: Are we in danger?
Stephen Bonnet: Only if they have a mind for mischief.
Roger: You don't seem troubled by it...
Stephen Bonnet: A wise man leaves the things beyond his power to the gods, and then he prays that Danu will be with him.

--
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The Case of the Missing Lifeguard

Stranger Things 3×3

Mike Wheeler: What did I do wrong?!
Lucas Sinclair: Mike, stop. Relax. Just relax. Okay? Stop asking rational questions.
Mike Wheeler: I know, I know, you're right. Because women act on emotion and not logic.
Lucas Sinclair: Precisely.
Mike Wheeler: It's a totally different species.
Eleven: They say we are "species".
Robin: What?
Eleven: "Emotion, not logic".
Robin: What?!

Mike Wheeler: Dude, you can smell the nacho cheese.

Dustin Henderson: You see anything?
Steve Harrington: Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for.
Dustin Henderson: Evil Russians.
Steve Harrington: Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like.
Dustin Henderson: Tall, blond, not smiling... Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing.

Mike Wheeler: We're not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?
Will Byers: Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.

Robin: The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. A trip to China sounds nice if you tread lightly.

--
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Liars

The Handmaid's Tale 3×11

June: Fifty-two kids. And ten seats. How does that math work?... Moira would tell me I need to keep my fucking shit together.

Lawrence: Part of the equation we overlooked, mental health, obviously... Maternal love, we overlooked that one, too. So many regrets...

June: Wouldn't it be funny if you actually turned out to be a hero?
Lawrence: Wouldn't it?

Serena: The Americans have always underestimated our devotion to the cause... They think we're as weak as they are.

Serena: Do you remember what this used to look like out here? Rusted-out factories...
Waterford: Dirty air, dirty water.
Serena: We returned the world to its natural state.
Waterford: Something to be proud of.

June: You all seem to have your kinks.

June: I've done this before. I can do it again. Just like all the other times.

Mr. Tuello: ... You have been charged with war crimes and human rights violations based on documented evidence and testimony regarding your essential role... acting on behalf of the Republic of Gilead. The charges identify the use of your authority and access to the apparatus of the state to coordinate... the persecution and torture of civilians, cruel and inhuman treatment, kidnapping, slavery, and rape.

--
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The Mall Rats

Stranger Things 3×2

Jonathan Byers: Look, all I'm saying is, what harm is there in asking?
Nancy Wheeler: The harm in asking is that Tom will say no. We ask for forgiveness, not permission.

Steve Harrington: Hotter than Phoebe Cates? No.
Dustin Henderson: Mm-hmm. Brilliant, too. And she doesn't even care that my real pearls are still coming in. She says kissing is better without teeth.
Steve Harrington: Wow. Yeah, that's great. Proud of you, man. That's ro... That's kinda romantic.

Eleven: But friends don't lie.
Max Mayfield: Yeah, well, boyfriends lie. All the time.

Max Mayfield: He treated you like garbage. You're gonna treat him like garbage. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
Eleven: Give him the medicine...
Max Mayfield: Mm-hmm. And if he doesn't fix this, if he doesn't explain himself, dump his ass.

Joyce Byers: And what is this again?
Mr. Clarke: This is a solenoid. It's a coil, wrapped around a metallic core, and when electricity passes through it...
Joyce Byers: It creates an electromagnetic field.
Mr. Clarke: Exactamundo. Now for the fun part...

Mr. Clarke: In order to reach your house and downtown, gosh, that would take billions of volts of electricity and cost tens of millions of dollars.
Joyce Byers: But is it possible?
Mr. Clarke: We cured polio in '53. Landed on the Moon in '69. As I tell my students, once you open up that curiosity door, anything is possible.

Waiter: I'm afraid no alcohol is allowed off the premises.
Jim Hopper: I can do anything I want. I'm the chief of police.

Eleven: I dump your ass!

--
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Blood of My Blood

Outlander 4×6

Claire: Pride goeth before a fall. And a broken back.

Lord John Grey: You are a rather remarkable woman.
Claire: In what way?
Lord John Grey: You are neither circumspect nor circuitous. I don't believe I've ever met anyone so devastatingly straightforward, male or female.
Claire: Well, it's not by choice. I was born that way.

Lord William Ransom: It was clearly a stag. Now you've let it get away.
Jamie: The distance was too great for a rifle.
Lord William Ransom: I could have injured it.
Jamie: Aye, and made it suffer. Ye shoot to kill.

Jamie: Yer servants may have dressed the game at home, but here in the New World, we're no hunting for sport. Ye dinna prepare the gralloch, ye dinna eat.

Lord William Ransom: I ran to you. But you did not look back at me. Why did you not look back at me?
Jamie: I wanted to. I didn't look because... I didn't want to give ye false hope.

Claire: Oh, there's an inscription... Give me 1,000 kisses... And I'll give you 1,000 more.

--
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Suzie, Do You Copy?

Stranger Things 3×1

Jim Hopper: They're spending entirely too much time together. You agree with me about that, right?
Joyce Byers: Well, I mean, they're just kissing, right?
Jim Hopper: Yeah, but it is constant. It is constant. Okay? That is not normal, that is not healthy.

Steve Harrington: It's this stupid hat! I am telling you, it is totally blowing my best feature.
Robin: Yeah, company policy is a real drag.

Steve Harrington: Ahoy, ladies! Didn't see you there. Would you guys like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me? I'll be your captain... Can I get you guys a little taste of the Cherries Jubilee? No? Anybody? Banana Boat? Four people, four spoons? Share it in the booth? Anybody? It's hot out there.

Jim Hopper: Maybe I'll just kill Mike... I'm the chief of police, I could cover it up.

Dustin Henderson: Suzie, this is Dustin. Do you copy? Over. One sec. She's probably... She's still there. Suzie... this is Dustin. Do you copy? Over... I'm sure she's there. It's just... You know, maybe she's, like, busy or...

Jim Hopper: ... why it's important to establish these boundaries... moving forward, so that we can create an environment where... you feel comfortable and trusted and open. Shit. "To share our feelings"...

Jim Hopper: Crazy? You want to see real crazy? You disrespect me again!! Okay?

Jim Hopper: Here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna drive you home. And I'm gonna speak... and you're going to listen. And then, maybe... maybe by the end of it, maybe if you're lucky, maybe... I will continue to allow you to date my daughter... Nod if you understand!

--
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Bear Witness

The Handmaid's Tale 3×10

June: I don't want rest. I don't want to rest ever again.

Aunt Lydia: Perhaps God will deem this household worthy of a child after all, should he forgive us for taking you away from last month's Ceremony. Happily, we've returned you just in time for the next.
June: I believe that my time of prayer has led me to see my true purpose.
Aunt Lydia: Oh. You are a good girl, Ofjoseph!

Beth: Scones mean no. Welcome home.
June: "Scones mean no"?
Beth: A message from the network. ... When they can't help, they send scones.

Commander Lawrence: What do you know about how much someone can take?
June: ... Everything.

Commander Waterford: A Boston girl. Born and bred. Hardy.

Aunt Lydia: Bearing witness ensures that every member of the family is performing their role. Any deviation could tip the scales to failure.

---

Commander Lawrence: And when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said unto Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die."

Commander Lawrence: We don't have to do anything.
June: Sir... Yes, we do. You helped to create... this world. How long did you think it would be before it came for you?

June: You just treat it like a job. Try to detach yourself. See it from the outside. You're not you. I'm not me. This is a transaction... And then it's over.
Joseph: Are you sure?
June: Mmm-hmm.... It's easier if you close your eyes.

Aunt Lydia: A successful Ceremony. Praise be.

June: At least it wasn't you...

June: The punishment for contraception is being torn apart by dogs.

June: You can get out, too. You just have to bring them something. Something valuable. Kids. The stolen children of Gilead.

Beth: Muffins mean yes.

June: We're gonna need a bigger boat...

--
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The Latest Model

Elementary 7×10

Holmes: How'd you do it? Signal jammer? Remote access device? Whatever it is, I'm sure it's trademarked Odker technology...
Reichenbach: I would trademark it if I wanted anyone to know I had it.

Reichenbach: S.I.S. won't be helping you. Neither will Mossad, nor Interpol, nor any other global law enforcement or intelligence agency you might draw upon. Though many of them hold the two of you in high esteem, they value my friendship even more.

Holmes: Not everyone who gets angry commits a murder. Not everyone who buys a gun commits a murder, even though it might feel like it sometimes.

Reichenbach: Let's say I would consider revising the way I do things... you and Joan would help?
Holmes: Call us. Find out.

Holmes: Anonymity has become hip.

--
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Hellboy (2019)

Professor Broom: My father used to say shaving was the most important part of a day. Separated the gentlemen from the Philistines. It takes a real man to hold a blade against his own throat every day and not cut the jugular.
Hellboy: Grandpa Bruttenholm, he was all teddy bears and rainbows...
Professor Broom: He was an unrepentant asshole, but he taught me how to shave.
Hellboy: Like father, like son.

Professor Broom: Now there... Don't you look handsome!
Hellboy: I'm gonna take your word for that, Pops.

Hellboy: ... So I'm devil spawn and a Nazi. Great. Thanks, Dad.

Nimue the Blood Queen: Look at this. A world ravaged by war and poverty led by feckless fear mongers. They've replaced swords with singing competitions... Well, not for much longer.

Hellboy: Where am I?
Alice Monaghan: Bacon, eggs and black pudding, do ya? You look like you could use a proper English breakfast... Go on, sit down before you fall down.

Hellboy: You know what hurts worse than being stabbed in the back? Being stabbed in the back.

Alice Monaghan: That's mega!
Hellboy: He's probably overcompensating 'cause he's not my real dad.
Alice Monaghan: That's some present.
Hellboy: Some dads get their kids LEGOs...

---

Hellboy: Yeah, I'd love to take your word for it. But you know what? There's one problem, I'm just not stupid!

Major Ben Daimio: Destiny... Stupid word for "coincidence."
Alice Monaghan: Don't talk shit about fate. She's a vindictive bitch.

Hellboy: There's gotta be another way. The answer to every threat we face cannot be annihilation. There's gotta be a world where monsters don't have to hide in the shadows, where they don't have to live in fear. Where monsters...

Major Ben Daimio: Should we be worried about where that's going?

Hellboy: Lady, quit while you're... A head.

Professor Broom: Being your father was the best decision I ever made.

Alice Monaghan: So, you're the king of England now.
Hellboy: Yup.
Alice Monaghan: Well, I didn't see that coming.

Lobster Johnson: I don't think your old man would wanna see you sitting around here moping. ... You won a battle. Now you gotta go kick ass in the war.
Hellboy: I do?
Lobster Johnson: Now cut the shit, buckle up, get back in the fight.

--
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Σ nostradamvs: «Для перезапуска истории — нормально. Первая половина фильма — так и вовсе зашибись.....»

The One with the East German Laundry Detergent

Friends 1×5

Ross: Not a big deal? It's amazing. You just reach in, there's one little maneuver, and bam! A bra. Right out the sleeve. As far as I'm concerned... there is nothing a guy can do that comes close. Am I right?

Joey: You know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts anytime they want. You just look down, and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
Phoebe: What I don't get is the way guys can do so many mean things... and then not even care.
Ross: .... Multiple orgasms!

Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

Rachel: Does anybody want anything else?
Ross: Yeah. Last week you had a wonderful nutty, chocolate-y, kind of cake-y pie thing that... Nothing. I'm fine.

Phoebe: Have a good breakup.

Ross: Basically, you wanna use one machine for all your whites.
Rachel: Whites. Okay.
Ross: A whole other machine for your colors.
Rachel: Colors.
Ross: And then a third for your, uh... delicates. And that would be your bras... and your... underpanty things.
Rachel: Okay, well, these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or with delicates?
Ross: That would be a judgment call.

--
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The Lego Batman Movie (2017)

Batman: Black. All important movies start with a black screen... And music... Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous... And logos... Really long and dramatic logos... Warner Bros. Why not "Warner Brothers"? I don't know... DC... The house that Batman built. Yeah, what, Superman? Come at me, bro. I'm your Kryptonite... Hmm... Not sure what RatPac does, but that logo is macho. I dig it... Okay. Get yourself ready for some... reading. "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo." No. I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. Yeah, I've got an extra ab. Now, let's start the movie...

Batman: Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships... As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.

Alfred Pennyworth: Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?
Batman: I don't talk about feelings, Alfred! I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent.

Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce, you live on an island, figuratively and literally.
Batman: Yeah. I love it.
Alfred Pennyworth: You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all night.
Batman: Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman.
Alfred Pennyworth: But don't you think it's time you finally faced your greatest fear?
Batman: Snakes?
Alfred Pennyworth: No.
Batman: Clowns?
Alfred Pennyworth: No.
Batman: Snake clowns?
Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce, listen. Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.
Batman: Nope. Now it's snake clowns, because you put that idea in my head.

Barbara Gordon: Look. Batman's been on the job for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time—
Bruce Wayne: He has aged phenomenally.
Barbara Gordon: However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us, Gotham City is still the most crime-ridden city in the world.

---

Bruce Wayne: Hi. Bruce Wayne. Billionaire, bon vivant, gallivanter, playboy, Gotham's most eligible bachelor, like, 90 years in a row. That's me right there.
Barbara Gordon: I know who you are, Mr. Wayne.

Barbara Gordon: I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need an unsupervised adult man karate-chopping poor people in a Halloween costume. We need to take what's good about Batman... and marry it to actual laws and proper ethics and accountability.
Bruce Wayne: I hate everything you just said.

Barbara Gordon: So, why don't you and I work together inside the law, to figure out what he's up to?
Batman: Batman works alone. That's my motto. Copyright Batman.

Dick Grayson: Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?
Batman: No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.

Batman: We have to right a wrong. And, sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that.
Dick Grayson: Are we sure Gandhi said that?
Batman: I'm paraphrasing.
Dick Grayson: Cool!

Dick Grayson: Whoo-hoo! A month ago, I had no dads. Then I had one dad. Now I have two dads! And one of them is Batman!
Batman: Yeah.
Dick Grayson: It's raining dads!

Batman: So, are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way?
Dick Grayson: I sure am, Dad Two! But first, where's the seatbelt?
Batman: The first lesson is, life doesn't give you seatbelts!

Batman: Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you how to masterbuild your way inside that thing...

Batman: Do you know what the B-A-T in Batman stands for?
Barbara Gordon: Not really.
Batman: Best At Teamwork. Best At Teamwork Man is my full name.

Brick Lady: Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.
Batman: What are you talking about? I'm not a bad guy.
Brick Lady: But you're all in black. You have a cape. And you wear a big, scary mask.
Batman: Well, I'm not.
Brick Lady: And you kicked me in the face.
Batman: Listen, I'm Batman.
Brick Lady: Oof! You even sound like a bad guy.

Dick Grayson: I've gotta save my family! Just think... What would Batman do?... I know! Not listen to anyone else. Be mean to people. Destroy as much property as possible. Talk in a really low, gravelly voice. And go it alone.

Batman: Shut up, Joker! If there's no Gotham, then I'll never get to fight you again... You're the reason why I get up at 4:00 in the afternoon and pump iron until my chest is positively sick. You're the reason I've given up a life spent with Russian ballerinas and lady activewear models. And if it wasn't for you, I never would have learned how connected I am with all these people. And you.

Batman: I'm just gonna come right out and say it... I hate you, Joker.
Joker: I hate you, too.
Batman: I hate you more.
Joker: I hate you the most.
Batman: I hate you forever.

Batman: White. All important movies end with a white screen. And tying up loose ends... Like this snake clowns bit.

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Σ nostradamvs: «Сценаристу – 10 баллов и бутылку виски. В этом фильме обстёбывается всё – комиксы DC и Marvel, герои Роулинг и Толкина, современная политика и супергеройское кино, это полтора часа шуток, гэгов, мозгожрачки и комедии с нормальными выводами и отличными живыми персонажами. Гораздо более живыми, чем во многих некукольных фильмах.»

Is Anybody Out There?

Fear the Walking Dead 5×8

Alicia: It was a good idea... but maybe we can't make up for what we did. Maybe we're the last ones left.

Grace: Alicia, you're going to be okay.
Alicia: You don't know that.
Grace: No, but you don't know that you won't be.

June: I've seen a lot of bad, Dylan. I know you have, too. But you need to know that that is not all that there is. It can't be. There's gotta be good, too. Otherwise... it just doesn't add up. And since we haven't seen a whole lot of the good lately... I think we've got some comin' our way.

John: See? My luck, your determination, we're gonna make this thing work yet.

---

Logan: Nice speech. But unlike my partner, I'm still above ground. And not sticking my neck out, it's kept me breathing. I happen to like breathing.

John: I need you to promise me somethin'. You promise me that you'll take off whether I'm there or not... Whew. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I'd found my reason to live. I want you to always have a reason, too, whether I'm there or not, okay?

Sarah: I'm not losin' at the game of life, not this round. That plane is gonna land in one piece if I have to blow sunshine out my asshole to make it happen.

Grace: Here. I fixed your stick.

John: I know this doesn't make sense considerin' the state of the state, but, June... would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?

Wendell: Sarah, I just wanna say, if I don't make it out of this, you make the worst beer I ever tasted in my life, but I still love you anyway.

Logan: If you want to help anybody ever again, you're gonna actually have to get to them. Soon enough, you won't be able to.

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On the Scent

Elementary 7×9

Holmes: You told her about Odin?
Watson: No. A megalomaniacal billionaire preemptively assassinating anyone who says the wrong thing in an e-mail? She would think I was nuts.

Watson: Did you know that you have a tell... when you lie, but no one else can see it but me?

Holmes: I didn't do it to shield you, I did it to spare you.
Watson: From what?
Holmes: From having to lie to everyone else. .... Knowing a secret of that magnitude, kno-knowing the truth ... and keeping silent, it's... corrosive.

Diana Long: I could never. I loved her!
Holmes: I'm afraid that that is not exculpatory. 2.5 women are murdered every day by an intimate partner. So we're going to have to cover our statistical bases with a little more than your word.

Holmes: I find sports gambling as boring as the stock market. Never developed a taste for it.

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The Gate

Stranger Things 2×9

Steve Harrington: I may be a pretty shitty boyfriend, but... turns out I'm actually a pretty damn good babysitter.
Nancy Wheeler: Steve...

Jim Hopper: I'm just curious, you know, why all of a sudden you look like some kind of MTV punk.

Steve Harrington: Listen, dude, a coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it. All right?
Mike Wheeler: Okay, first of all, this isn't some stupid sports game. And second, we're not even in the game. We're on the bench.
Steve Harrington: So my point is... Right, yeah, we're on the bench, so, uh, there's nothing we can do.

Joyce Byers: This thing has had Will long enough. Let's kill the son of a bitch.

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I Want to Know

Big Little Lies 2×7

Jane: I don't really... know him well enough to love him. Love is a really... big word, you know?

Mary Louise: Sleeping Beauty... That's how Perry would describe her to me. Sleeping Beauty. He was her prince. And she killed him.

Ira Farber: Mary Louise... only answer the questions that are asked.

Celeste: Maybe I'm not a good mother. Maybe I'm not fit.

Corey: Okay, first, nothing is perfect. Nothing's even... best. But if you can find better, nice... even good is good. Secondly, no matter how good something is, you can ruin it by overthinking it.

Max: Did court go good?
Celeste: Yeah. I think it did.
Max: Were you a superhero?
Celeste: Oh, I was like Wonder Woman and the Incredible Hulk... combined.

Madeline: About the lie... It had a shelf life.

---

Celeste: Madeline, you and I have a friendship, and Jane. That... That's... the Monterey Five, whatever we call ourselves... The lie is the friendship.

Madeline: Hey. What'd I say about sugar?
Chloe: What doesn't kill you...

Eddie: Do you remember [our wedding day], Madeline?
Madeline: Yeah. I remember it was really joyous.
Eddie: Yeah, it was joyous for me, too. But... delusional. We did not know what we were getting into. ... Most weddings are just like this blind leap of faith. All the vows we take, I mean... we can't even know what the fuck that means.

Eddie: Look, you are not who you were then. And neither am I. People change... We need to renew our vows.

Renata: Maybe you should've shown a woman a little respect!

Renata: No more bullshit. No more lies.

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Still Standing

Fear the Walking Dead 5×7

Alicia: People, places, you don't get to hold on to any of that.... You have to know when to go, Annie.

Alicia: Morgan, you said we were still here for a reason, but I'm starting to wonder if this is why.
Morgan: ... Everything gets a return. And it is why. It is.

June: What do you say to someone who's missing a piece of themself? A piece that makes them who they are?... I will tell you one thing. The thing I told myself every single day... That even if I never... Even if I never saw him again... I would always be grateful... for what we had... for who I could be. .... I would always have that. And I knew I would. But... I choose to believe...

Alicia: You have to know when to go, when to let go.

---

Morgan: I've tried to fix things I couldn't. And I've almost died trying, too. Man who helped me when I was stuck, his name was Eastman. He, um... He taught me something that helped me get unstuck. He taught me that, um... all life is precious.

Morgan: Eastman taught me something else about, um... redirection. You didn't think your own life was worth saving, so... I made it about my life. ....
Grace: So you have the same problem as I do.
Morgan: Which is what?
Grace: You think everyone else's life is more valuable than yours.

John: I bet you're not too happy with me. Well, I ain't too happy with me, either.

Morgan: I was thinking about what you said about why we're still standing, and I think you might be right. I think us helping people isn't the only reason... In trying to make up for the lives we took, I think we stopped living our own.

Morgan: We're gonna find a way to start living, Alicia. Okay?

--
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